Thank you for making my day?

Saw this post on 9GAG Singapore's Facebook page a while ago and my first and only reaction was...

So touched? Feel appreciated? More motivated?

Nah.
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Where the heck is this chicken rice stall? Next time lim pei wear my No.4 plus beret go there eat liao.

SAF really takes good care of us

Less than a fortnight ago and after more than 15 years, the Singapore Armed Forces finally tweaked its list of core values by adding "Safety" to it. So, is SAF trying to tell us that safety was not one of its main priorities until this year? Maybe yes, since there were a spate of unfortunate events last year. Maybe no, if those accidents did not occur.

This week, something surprising and shocking was reported in the news. A coroner's court on Monday (for the death of Private Dominique Sarron Lee who passed away in April 2012) heard that combat medics of the SAF are not "fully equipped to handle asthma attacks among SAF servicemen".

Yes, you did not read that wrongly. SAF's medical personnel are not adequately skilled to administer asthma attacks. This incident totally contradicts with what the SAF has always been prided for. It cares for soldiers and is always watching out for us.

The training which Pte Dominique underwent includes the use of smoke grenades yet medical equipment which are potentially useful like Ventolin, an inhaler for asthma attacks, were not present. What? They can't even do such a simple yet crucial thing? How can parents whose sons will serve National Service in the future trust SAF to take good care of them?

The court was told by the platoon commander for the exercise that he threw extra grenades as there was no wind on that day to create the required foggy conditions. He had more than the usual amount of grenades issued to him as another troop was absent. Give you more means must throw more meh? Don't you know that your man, who is wearing a blue wristband, has a medical history?

This isn't the first time that Mindef and SAF's medical corps have appeared in the news for negative reasons this year. The debate on whether an electrocardiogram check was sufficient for the pre-enlistment check-up rages on.

Mindef argues that a more expensive test would not have detected the heart defect of specialist cadet Ee Chun Sheng, who was another NS casualy last year. Some doctors urged the use of echocardiogram machine instead of the ECG machine used by Mindef while others believe that there isn't a need to utilize them.

Whatever it is, those of us who have served/are serving National Service in the SAF will know how efficient, reliable and responsible it really is. Just admit it even if you are most loyal regular.

Malaysia General Election preview

 

 From left to right: Chattering, Nervous, Desperate

One week down, one more week to go. That is the current state of the election campaign in Malaysia. Next Sunday, Malaysians will go to the polls to pick their country's rulers and decide what its future will turn out to be in the next five years. Though a Singaporean, I believe that Malaysia's 13th general election is worth following. Simply because it has political entertainment.

There are numerous "clash of the titans" battles around the nation where party heavyweights from the ruling Barisan Nasional and opposition Pakatan Rakyat face each other for a parliamentary seat. Singapore didn't really had many titanic battles in GE2011 due to the GRCs, which resulted in only a few 1-on-1 duels.

Some of the more prominent fights include Gelang Patah in Johor where BN's outgoing Johor Menteri Besar Abdul Ghani Othman takes on opposition veteran Lim Kit Siang of the Democratic Action Party, Shah Alam in Selangor which sees BN's Zulkifli Noordin against Parti Islan SeMalaysia's Khalid Samad and Keningau in Sabah that has two (real) brothers facing each other.

In the case of Shah Alam, it is said to be fight between the hardliner and the moderate. The former, from BN, is known for his extremist comments on Hindus, while Mr. Moderate is a Catholic church visitor of the PAS. When we put white and black together, what will be get? Erm, grey?

Over at East Malaysia, two brothers, Joseph Pairin Kitingan of BN and Jeffrey Kitingan of the independent State Reform Party, are up against each other again. Joseph is the elder and the incumbent defending his seat.

Five years ago, Jeffrey lost to his brother when he was still with Parti Keadilan Rakyat. Five years later, what will the result be? I thought Kevin-Prince Boateng and Jerome Boateng, both professional footballers, were probably the only brothers in the world who would be on different sides. I guess you and I were both wrong.

Alright, then there is Gelang Patah which I reckon would be biggest fight in this election. Gelang Patah is only a little more than 10 kilometres away from my camp and I can travel there by car in less than an hour via the Second Link Expressway.

Useless info aside, the face-off between Ghani and Lim here is a essentially a clash of old and new (although both are old enough to be grandfathers). Ghani has been defending Johor, the Umno fortress, from the opposition for some 18 years and is name and face are familiar to voters there.

On the other hand, Lim is new to Johor after deciding to leave Perak where his Ipoh Timur seat of nine years was to spread the "political wave" from the north to south of Peninsular Malaysia. Is it worth the gamble when the opposition's de facto leader, Anwar Ibrahim opted to stay and defend his Permatang Pauh seat in Penang?

Another factor which makes the general election interesting is who will be the next prime minister of Malaysia. If the ruling coalition, Barisan Nasional, continues to rule the country, it is understood that Najib Razak, the head of the coalition's biggest party, Umno, will be premier. Really?

If BN were to receive less than two-thirds of the vote, like what happened during the reign of Abdullah Badawi in 2008, Najib may face a similar fate like his predecessor. Abdullah stepped down as Umno president and prime minister in June 2009, a year after the watershed election. Najib, who was Abdullah's deputy then, was subsequently sworn in as the 6th prime minister.

So, if BN were to receive a barrage of hard knocks while barely clinging onto power, will Najib's place still be untouchable? Or will his deputy, Muhyiddin Yassin, launch an attack to bring him down within Umno? That sounds a bit unbelievable but Najib is, after all, an untested leader. And falling at his first hurdle would only make Mahathir and the rest of BN pissed off.

What if Pakatan Rakyat wins and end the BN's long-time rule of Malaysia? Most people would agree that Anwar will assume the position of prime minister. The centre-left DAP has ruled all its members out. That means the head of government will still be a Malay after all. What about the Islamist party PAS then?

Its spiritual advisor, Nik Abdul Aziz Nik Mat, at an age of 82, is certainly too old for that. That leaves us with Abdul Hadi Awang, president of the party. That's where the problem lies. Hadi, the MP for Marang in Terengganu, had not completely ruled himself out.

The three members of Pakatan Rakyat have also chose not to comment on who will be prime minister, which only increases the suspicion that Anwar is still not confirmed as first-choice until today. If Anwar, with the backing of DAP, goes on to assume office, will he create a split within the coalition?

Whatever the outcome of the election, it is for the better of Malaysia (and maybe Singapore if markets don't crash too much if BN loses big). Malaysians should use their vote wisely. They should ask themselves what are they most concerned with? Political corruption, economic issues or social reforms?

Vote whatever you think is right. I am not a Malaysia citizen but as an observer from its closest neighbour, I would say go for Anwar and co. because they seem to say more "right" stuff.

Star Awards 2013 preview

 

It's the time of the year again! Some will laugh, others may cry but most of us will agree that it is the biggest entertainment that the local entertainment scene can provide us with. Star Awards 2013 will be held this Sunday and here are my predictions. Please do not scold me if your idol wasn't picked.

Best Actor: Chew Chor Meng (Joys of Life)

This award should be a straight fight between two old birds of Channel 8. Chew Chor Meng and Christopher Lee are the two with the highest chance of winning but the former should end up as the victor with his impressive performance in Joys of Life.

Christopher Lee put up a decent performance in Show Hand but he still looked like he was acting professionally after all. On the other hand, Chew easily transforms into the character he was acting. He looked more like he was being portrayed by the story's character.

The forever youthful-looking Thomas Ong will be the dark horse here while fellow Pillow Talk actor Thomas Ong and Dai Yangtian of Poetic Justice are just there to make up the numbers.

Best Actress: Rebecca Lim (Unriddle 2)

The female category proves to be a little more interesting with its nominees. Rebecca Lim and Rui En were at their finest in Unriddle 2 but as Mediacorp seems to be promoting Lim and Rui already an established figure, the former stands a higher chance of winning.

Joanne Peh, who hogged the headlines for more than a month with her relationships, is highly unlikely to defend the title she won last year. Cynthia Koh (Show Hand) cried her way to a nomination and sad to say, she may have to cry again after the show. Crying alone is not impressive enough for the high standards of Koh.

That leaves us with Kym Ng, who only returned to acting last year after a three-year absence. Wow, and all it takes is just one drama to earn herself a nomination. Her character, Luo Na, in It Takes Two suits her well and she managed to pull it off with force and finesse. Would be the dark horse here.

Best Supporting Actor: Rayson Tan (It Takes Two)

Rayson Tan's china man character, Zhang Yang, is memorable. It is the character that everybody who watched It Takes Two will definitely remember, excluding Ann Kok with that hideous make-up. Tay Ping Hui(Unriddle 2), the late Huang Wenyong (Joys of Life) and Zhu Houren (Pillow Talk) are the dark horses here.

As for Romeo Tan, nominated for the first time, he will just be "the fifth nominee" in this award. When one is going up against four veterans who each has at least more than a decade of experience, one should not keep his hopes too high. It's okay Romeo, at least you clinched the Rocket Award last Sunday.

Best Supporting Actress: Lin Meijiao (Game Plan)

This one is neither interesting nor easy. Four veterans, not exactly of premium quality, plus a 30-year old who won Best Newcomer last year. Hard to pick? Probably. Entertaining? Definitely not. I planned to leave this category with a question mark so Why did I pick Lin Meijiao?

Lin acted as a swindler in Game Plan, something that is outside her usual auntie characters. I considered that as a small breakthrough. Xiang Yun was also liberated from auntie roles in Pillow Talk where she took on the character of a career woman.

Constance Song (Don't Stop Believin') is just a passer-by while the old and fermented kimchi Jin Yin Ji, nominated for the first time, will provide a little challenge for Lin. Kate Pang, the one who received Best Newcomer at the age of 29, should be contended to see her name alongside the above four.

Best Variety Show Host: Bryan Wong (Jobs Around The World)

No Mark Lee in this year's nomination list? It's alright because the nominees are all top-notch MCs of Mediacorp anyway. Bryan Wong has not touched this award for seven years so it's high time that he gets it this year.

Fellow host, Kym Ng performed well too but ever since the Sharon Au reign from 2000 to 2003, nobody has won the award twice in three years. That rules Ng out, sadly. Cavin Soh (Knock! Knock! Who's There?) and Guo Liang (United Neighbours Society) never looked good enough to garner the award.

Thai boy Pornsak makes it a hat-trick of nominations for his role in Food Source. He was part of the nominees for the past two years but emerged empty-handed on both occasions. Will 2013 finally be the breakthrough that he is carving for? Probably not unless the judges are a bunch of housewives.

Best Newcomer Award: Ian Fang (Don't Stop Believin')

Fans of Ian Fang, you guys are probably smiling now. Why him you may ask? Fang debuted as a little pai kia in On The Fringe in 2011 and has maintained his bad boy Edison Chen look since then. However, his role as the somewhat nerdy Bai Zhixiang allowed him to prove that acting bad isn't his only forte.



Shane Pow (It Takes Two) will probably be remembered for his lines about the hardship of living in Singapore these days but not his acting. Elizabeth Lee (Show Hand) is a decent performer but will get edged out due to popularity. We are left with Edwin Goh (Don't Stop Believin') and Jayley Woo (Jump!), who were once an item.

And they'll both be together, in the losers' bracket.

Best Drama Serial: Game Plan/Pillow Talk

I can't decide on a clear winner for the best drama. Game Plan comes up tops in terms of plot whereas Pillow Talk's concept beats all of its fellow nominees. The judge's preference for plot or concept will be the crucial factor in this category.

Poetic Justice, more towards the concept kind of drama, was a disappointment. The cast, including Rui En and Rebecca Lim (it's them again!) were not at their best. The idea of news reporting is fresh but who the heck gives their opinion while presenting news on TV in Singapore? Poetic Justice has truly screwed itself with illogical scenes.

Unriddle 2 was another letdown. One expects to see numerous action scenes and plot twists in a detective show. Nah. The best I had to enjoy was the scene of Tay Ping Hui fighting Rui En at a back alley and it ended quite quickly. Will there be a third season? Nobody knows.

Don't Stop Believin' was the Top Rated Drama Serial last year with over a million viewers catching the final episode. However, the story lacks substance and the success of the show was mainly due to its cast of young artists that had huge fan bases.

There are still a number of categories like Best Variety Programme, Best News Presenter, Best Info-ed Programme Host etc. which I decided to refrain from predicting because I lack knowledge in those areas. But I think Zhao Quanyin deserves to win Best News Presenter simply because all the other four nominees have won it before.

Lastly, to the late Huang Wenyong, you will be missed.

Free MRT rides?

The latest stunt move by the government this week? Free train rides for early birds! Kiasu Singaporeans like you and I who tap out at designated MRT stations in the city area before 7:45am on weekdays will pay nothing from 24 June. Wow! Isn't that a great deal? The early bird catches the worm. However, do remember that the early worm gets caught by the bird.

The benefits of saving a few cents every morning does seem appealing to the average worker who commutes to work by train. But, this one-year trial by the Land Transport Authority (LTA) is flawed in many aspects. The transport ministry seems to have made a hasty decision as it ignores many other factors.

First of all, the scheme is not extended to the whole train network. This is, in fact, the biggest flaw. Let me state an example. Imagine this guy, or do you prefer a female? Alright, let's say a lady, an office lady (OL) whose office is located at Harbourfront. The OL lives in Punggol. If she is willing to spare the time to save money, she can easily exploit this free ride thing.

After boarding the train at Hougang, she alights at Outram Park, tap out at that station before 7:45am. Then, she can tap in again to continue her journey while enjoying a discunted fare. What if more OLs and OGs (office "mother father" gentlemen!) did the same? Wouldn't the stations in the city area be crowded as well?

By designating the city area, what message is Transport minister Lui Tuck Yew trying to send out? White-collar workers, who make up the majority of the city's labour, deserve more benefits than their blue-collar counterparts? What about white-collar workers whose offices are in the wider areas like Woodlands, Tuas etc.?

The scheme will be less successful if employers do not implement flexible working hours. From a practical point of view, would a worker choose to start work earlier if he knows that he still knocks off at the same time? Office hours should be staggered where the time of one reaching the office is the time of another reaching the MRT station.

Companies can have working hours like 7-4, 8-5, 8:30-5:30, 9:30-6:30 to allow more adjustability. The government can also help by giving subsidies to organizations that cater transport for their employees. This will encourage more companies to provide shuttle buses for their staff as well as shuttle services of long distances.

Lastly, not trying to be xenophobic but I believe that Singaporeans and permanent residents should be the only ones who are eligible for this scheme. But then again, how the heck are you going to do that when Ez-link cards do not state one's nationality?

Liverpool vs Chelsea preview

 "I think both of us still look better in red?"

"I guess so..."

Whenever people hear Rafael Benitez's name, they would certainly associate him to Liverpool. Even now, as Chelsea's interim manager, Benitez is still remembered for his heroics during his time at Anfield. Tomorrow, the Spaniard will be in an awkward situation where he is cheered on by his opponent's supporters but booed by his own.

Liverpool-Chelsea encounters were always blockbusters that every football fan wants to watch during the era of Benitez and Jose Mourinho. During the days of Benitez, the Reds squared off with the Blues thrice in the semi-finals of the Champions League.

The most memorable match was the ghost goal scored by Liverpool forward Luis Garcia in the second-leg of the 04-05 season. Chelsea crashed out of the competition on aggregate (0:1) while Benitez and his players went on to lift the trophy after a penalty shootout in the final with AC Milan which saw them came from 0:3 down to level the score 3:3.

That Champions League final was arguably Benitez's most famous match in his managerial career. Liverpool supporters like myself can never stop talking about that dramatic night despite the fact that team has not played in Europe's top competition for three years.

Tomorrow's fixture will also see another former Liverpool employee return to Anfield. Fernando Torres, the striker who was at his lethal best during his days at Liverpool, will probably not be in the starting line-up but is expected to make an insignificant appearance in the later stages of the game. Expect Jamie Carragher to give El Nino a couple of good tackles.

Also to watch is Daniel Sturridge, the striker whom Liverpool manager Brendan Rodgers signed from Chelsea in the January transfer window. Sturridge will have a point to prove. He struggled at his old club where players like Didier Drogba and Nicolas Anelka overshadowed him. Despite being a natural centre-forward, he was often used on the flanks.

Sturridge made an instant impact at Liverppol but have since failed to find the net in the last two months. The encounter with Chelsea will certainly be a good opportunity for him to make a statement.

Prediction? Liverpool to squeeze out a 2:1 victory. Luis Suarez will bag a brace.

My Ex-Principal

You may think that this post has absolutely no link with you and will probably choose to skip it but I am still going to carry on writing.

Mrs Karen Oei Boon, principal of Tanglin Secondary School from 2003 to 2009, has passed away yesterday. I received the news from a Facebook friend's status update last night. I was still suspecting whether was it genuine but all doubts were cleared when I saw the obituary in the newspaper today.

She was an innovative leader. I dare say that she was not and will never be the "mainstream kind of principal" we encounter in most secondary schools. As long as she is present, every assembly in the mornings would see her giving a speech which lasts about ten to fifteen minutes.

Back then, everybody or maybe majority of the students couldn't be bothered with what she was talking. Quotes like "tiny droplets make a mighty ocean" or "cleanliness is next to godliness" have were mentioned on more than one occasion.

When I was in secondary two, my literature teacher forced us to write essays where we have to link what we read in the textbook to what Mrs Oei had spoken about during morning assembly. That made us left with no choice but to listen and scrutinize every word she mouthed.

Fast forward a few years to today and I swear that I wouldn't mind doing it all over again. The things which Mrs Oei talked about weren't just motivational quotes, it was exposing us to non-academic topics which we will probably not be coming across in the classroom for the rest of the day. The fifteen minutes was, in my perspective, actually a "rest" before actual lessons began.

Back in 2004 when I was a little cuter than I currently am, Tanglin staged its first musical production, Joseph and the Amazing Technicolour Dreamcoat. Everybody was forced to audition for it. I succeeded at dodging it by singing a nursery rhyme (instead of some pop song) and reacted dumbly during the piano segment.

The musical was meant for the school's 40th anniversary celebration and yes, Mrs Oei was the brainchild of this historical project. In the area of arts, TSS introduced the Dance Programme for lower secondary students. We had 90-minute sessions weekly in the dance studio and there's even a written examination at the end of the semester.

My time in secondary school had me being obligated to take subjects that the average neighbourhood school kind wouldn't have to. They include dance, literature and additional mathematics. Tanglinians had to move our bodies to music, read "chim English stories" and take on higher levels of mathematics as part of our curriculum.

All these became a reality because of Mrs Oei. Should I be grateful to her? Of course! How many people can boast that they learned dance as a compulsory subject, read literature books that even JC students have no idea about and took two types of maths during their secondary school days?

Some of my former classmates might not see it this way but the day will come when they finally admit that in one way or another, they benefited from Karen Oei's reign as the school's principal.

Condolences to the family.

Raymond Eng
Class of 2007
Tanglin Secondary School

Chinatown = China Town?

Went to Chinatown this morning. Chinatown, despite retaining its Chinese cultural elements, is no longer the Chinatown that I used to visit. Singapore's Chinatown should be renamed as China Town. Whether it's Temple Street, Mosque Street or Smith Street, you will definitely spot a PRC man or woman, usually in pairs or groups.

Historically, the area is concentrated with the Chinese population, hence the name Chinatown. Over the years, Chinatown became more of a heritage site and tourist attraction. However, the "China invasion" seems to be back in the last five years thanks to the government's liberal immigration policy.

While I was at the hawker centre in Chinatown Complex for lunch, I swear I saw and heard at least thirty different Chinese nationals there. China slangs seemed to roar louder than the de facto dialect of Chinatown, Cantonese. Young faces of PRC appear to outnumber the old folks who have lived long enough to see Singapore transform into a first-world country.

Although stuff like Lim Chee Guan bak kwa, Er Gu Desserts and Outram Park Fried Kway Teow still exist and continue to make their presence felt in this neighbourhood, the emergence of stalls selling "non-Singapore Chinese food" makes me wonder if the Singaporean essence in Chinatown has started to reduce.

These stalls, which operate like a typical mixed vegetable rice stall but sell China dishes which locals are unfamiliar with, are always crowded with noisy and somewhat rowdy China people during lunch and dinner times. In the eyes of a Singaporean like myself, these stalls are nothing more than a little enclave in a large neighbourhood for these foreigners to feel at home.

If Chinatown wants to preserve its status as a heritage centre and tourist attraction, the "China revolution" that is slowly brewing in it has to be moderated. Only then will we locals, as well as travellers, be able to call it a place that possesses cultural and historical significance (of Singaporean Chinese).

Two sides of a story

A hummingbird was chirping at a pot of flowers outside my house. At first, it sounded pleasant and I couldn't be bothered with it. However, after five chirps which were separated by ten-second pauses, I decided that I had enough. Guess what I did? I powered on the laptop and started to typing this unimportant blog post that you are currently reading.

Some say that birds flying outside your window are a sign of good luck. Well, there are always two sides to a story and I can easily counter those people by stating that the hummingbird was a nuisance. It's just like the government importing more foreigners to boost the economy when Singaporeans continue to think of them like what I think of that hummingbird.

News of Qi Yuwu and Joanne Peh in a relationship became the main talking point of in the local entertainment industry this week. At the front, we can perceive this piece of news as China defeating America indirectly. No, we are not talking about the never-gonna-happen war on the Korean Peninsula.

Peh had just parted ways with radio DJ Bobby Tonelli, who hails from the United States, only about a month ago. After ditching hamburgers for xiao long baos in the span of a month, netizens believe that Peh is just pulling off a publicity stunt. See? Two sides to a story. There's a third one by me, however.

Why is 8 Days so good at scooping out this kind of stuff? iWeekly, you got to buck up.

Then, there was the Iron Lady. Nope, not a publicity stunt to promote the upcoming Iron Man film. Margaret Thatcher, arguably Britain's most famous prime minister, passed away on Monday. Some, if not most, talked about the achievements she had in her political career. From Falkland Islands to taxation to privatisation.

On the other side, it is reported that police are bracing for a mass party staged by Maggie's opponents in Trafalgar Square to celebrate her death. Thousands of people are also supporting a plot to turn their backs on the funeral cortege in view that the ceremonial event was a big burden on public funds.

I have a third view again. Why is it Iron Lady? Why not another metal like steel which doesn't rust? Or how about gold? If that's too extravagant for a politician, then why not silver, nickel, copper, aluminium etc.?

Now that Malaysia has confirmed the polling day (5 May) for its upcoming general election, all parties have started to up the tempo. Actually, the tempo has always been on the up since half a decade ago. Prepare to see lots of verbal artillery between the ruling Barisan Nasional and the opposition Pakatan Rakyat.

Ok, so what are two sides of this story? Simple. BN wins. Najib Razak carries on as prime minister, markets remain stable and Mahatir will shut up for quite a while. PR wins. Anwar Ibrahim (or some say Abdul Hadi Awang) become PM. More welfare for Malaysians, markets become volatile and Mahatir will not shut up for quite a while.

I don't have an alternative view to both sides of this story. It's either shut up or talk more for the venerable Tun Dr. Mahatir bin Mohammad. Enick, stop pulling Singapore into the political debate of your country.

Birthday

What should I blog about today?

Happy birthday to myself!!!

Ok bye.

At last, it's Bayern Munich again

ongratulations to Bayern Munich on winning the Bundesliga for a record 23rd time.  The Bavarians were also the first  among the top European leauges to secure the league title. Second-placed Borussia Dortmund, who were the champions of 2011 and 2012, lags behind by a massive twenty points.

Oh, and Bayern Munich certainly knows how to be coronated in style. A backheel by midfielder Bastian Schweinsteiger from a Phillip Lahm's cross proved to be the most important goal in the team's league campaign.Ausgezeichnet.

Reading Dreams

For the first time ever, researchers have discovered a way to read people's dreams. A group of scientists from Japan's ATR Computational Neuroscience Laboratories and the Nara Institute of Science and Technology (damn, I should've just Ctrl C plus P instead of typing this out) used MRI scanners to find out what images were people seeing in their dreams.

The MRI cans were utilized to locate exactly which part of the participants' brains was active during the period we spent in slumber land. The scientists then woke up the participants and asked what images did the latter see. This process went on for another two hundred times. I envy the dreamers and pity the scientists.

The researchers claim that on subsequent attempts, they could predict what images the participants had seen with a 60 per cent accuracy. It rose to more than 70 per cent when specific items like words and books were included. However, the team stressed that there's still a long way to go before a whole dream can be examined and  understood.

So, what if we scanned the brains of certain people while they are asleep?

Barack Obama

This is the best-looking beach! Best-looking sea, best-looking sand, best-looking sun. Most importantly, beside me is Kamala Harris, the best-looking attorney general in the country.

Xi Jinping

How to fight corruption? How do I start doing it? Maybe I should eat some noodles first. Noodles are yellow. Yellow is sunflower. Sunflower represents the sun. The sun is bigger than the moon. Moon has Chang'er. Chang'er is erm, what was I fighting? America?

Shinzo Abe

More aggressive moves to drive down the yen...More aggressive moves when using Akuma in Street Fighter.

Angela Merkel

Why are there so many Cypriots running towards my house? They are holding knifes? Ahhhhhhhhh!

Anwar Ibrahim

Thank you fellow Malaysians for making me your prime minister. First thing I would like to do as PM is...

Screw Mahathir!!!

Ban Ki-moon

*Sobs sobs* I am deeply deeply deeply troubled by North Korea. Why isn't Geun-hye dongsaeng as worried as I am? My Wonder Girls are in danger! Doesn't she care for Big Bang or something?

Kristen Stewart

Dinner with Robert at romantic restaurant. Delicious fish and great wine! Is that a photographer? No, its two, four, eight of them! Damn you guys! *Picks up fork and throws it*

Wakes up. "Oh it's just a nightmare? Why wasn't Rupert Sanders a dream too?"

Justin Bieber

I hate Germans! !@#$%^&* you N@z1s for taking away my monkey! It needs me to sing him "Baby" every night before it sleeps.

David Beckham

What's there to dream? I'm everybody's dream!

Maria Sharapova

Smashing every single shot in Serena Williams' face. That's not having fun, its called revenge! Whack that bla** b****!!! *Decibel levels at an all-time high*

Raymond

Everybody will think that this post is a decent piece of work.

Joke of the day

The other day I came up with a joke while reading the news of Lee Hsien Loong's recent trip to America.

After their official meeting when the cameras have stopped rolling, Obama approached Lee Hsien Loong and asked him the following questions.

Obama: Lee, let me ask you a question.
Lee: What? Whether chewing gum is still banned? Yes it is!
Obama: Nah...How do you put Bashar al-Assad into a coffin?
Lee: Erm, kill him?
Obama: Wrong. You just open it and dump the guy in.
Lee: ...
Obama: Now another one. How do you put Kim Jong Un into a coffin?
Lee: Open it and dump him in?
Obama: No! You take Bashar out and throw Kim in. Right, if you are on a helicopter and it's gonna crash due to overloading, what should you throw out? A TV, coffin or five luggages?
Lee: Why would a helicopter have a coffin...
Obama: Just answer.
Lee: Luggage lor.
Obama: Wrong, it's the coffin 'cause fatty Kim is in it!!!
Lee: What the...
Obama: Okay new one. Once upon a time, Joseph Stalin has a gun which has an effective range of 500 metres. Adolf Hitler was 700 metres in front of Stalin. Stalin decides to shoot and Hitler died. How's that possible?
Lee: No idea.
Obama: Because the coffin landed on him!

Both men went to the washroom and on their way out, Lee Hsien Loong decided to the questioning this time.

Lee: How do you put your political opponent into a coffin?
Obama: You mean literally? Open it and throw those morons in!
Lee: Nope. You sue them.

 Fellow left-handers shaking hands with their right

Malaysia dissolves parliament

 Those were the days...

Oh yeah, and I really mean oh yeah. Do not start thinking of that YOG song by JJ lin. At last, after months and months of anticipating, our nearest and dearest neighbour Malaysia is going to have its 13th general election very soon. Oh yeah, Malaysia boleh!

You might not find the upcoming election very appealing if you are neither a citizen of Malaysia or a bookie in charge of Malaysian elections. But for me, the thirst of enjoying and being entertained by an election which I have knowledge in has been bothering me for almost two years since Singapore GE2011 came to an end.r

Since there is still at least a couple of years before the next general election takes place in Singapore, why not turn my attention to Malaysia, the closest and most familiar country, I thought. Plus, with the ruling party facing its toughest challenge this time, Malaysia's election is bound to be interesting.

Today, Malaysia's prime minister Najib Razak announced on live television that the 12th parliament has been dissolved. An interesting fact: Today was the day Najib assumed office as prime minister four years ago. The son of Malaysia's second PM really knows how to commemorate occasions.

Although polling day has yet to be announced, I expect the election to occur during the last week of this month. More analysis on this topic will be coming your way soon.