Meatball Test

I would like you to spare or you can say squander a couple of minutes to participate in the below questionnaire. It is sort of a personality test. Time spent on the questionnaire may vary due to age, reading speed, language proficiency (you'll get it later), intelligence level and whether you have Whatsapp installed on your smartphone.

As a precautionary measure, Ikea Singapore announced that it has temporarily stopped the sales of their meatballs after horse meat was detected in meatballs in Czech Republic.

As a citizen of Singapore, a food paradise, which boasts desperate foodies who are willing to queue 30 minutes for a bowl of tau huay that the sparkling white French ang mohs despise, what are thoughts on the removal of those Swedish meatballs?

A. Why? Why? Why the !@#$%^&* did they stop selling those balls? I mean meatballs. Worst news of the week man!

B. Oh my god, goddess and Pope Benedict XVI who has just stepped down. But it's alright, there is still a lot of good food.

C. I only ate it once or twice in my life. Not bad but I still prefer the ah pek's fishball mee pok at the hawker centre. I get more balls at a lower price too.

D. Never ate that before and I am totally not interested. Ikea (it's pronounced as eee kia right?) is for buying DIY furniture, want to eat meatball, fishball or sotong ball everywhere also have lah.

E. 只不过是马肉罢了。 咱们在家乡吃了好几次，味道还 not bad。不比羊肉或牛肉逊色。

If your answer is A

You are probably fat, overweight, obese, fleshy, plump or whichever adjective you think sounds most comfortable to your ears. You do not count how much you eat every day hour. If you happened not to be the above, then you're most likely some amateur food critic or a Swede.

If B is your pick

You are fat, slim or skinny whichever you think you are regardless of what others tell you. You do not really count how much you spend. You love giving treats and won't go after a few dollars that you lent to your friends. If you happened not to be the above, then you're most likely a Catholic.

If you choose C

You are someone of healthy weight and just can't increase the waistline no matter how much you eat. You do not count how many fishballs there are whenever you eat fishball noodles. You only count the number of chilli slices. If you happened not to be the above, then you're most likely a "big" person who loves fishball mee pok.

If D suits you best

You are a person who shops at Ikea on more than one occasion. You either go there to buy DIY furniture and kitchenware or get free pencils. You do not count how much time you spend there as long as you mange to get what you wanted. If you happened not to be the above, then you're most likely a Scanteak, Novena or Barang Barang guy.

If your reply was E

You are someone who comes from a country that is powerful and populous. You do not count consider how many people you would irritate for making a din on public transport. If you happened not to be the above, then you're most likely someone who could read that and ate horse meat for quite a number of times before.

So how long did you spend on the questionnaire?

Fashion Forward: Fann Wong

Last week, our most famous export from the entertainment industry, Fann Wong attended the press conference of her new movie Runway Woman in Beijing, China.

The actress, who is hardly approaching high maintenance at the age of 42, donned a sequined dress from local brand, Zardoze. The look was finished off with a pair of peep-toe pumps, which is the "in" footwear for creating optical illusions.

While it is commendable that the former Xiao Long Nü opted to give Singapore labels more exposure, her choice of clothes may seem a little less satisfactory. Colours and design aside, the proportion seems a bit uneven. A sleeveless version of the top would make her look more balanced.

Anyway, her latest film Runway Woman is due to be released in China cinemas in March. The story is about five women and yeah no spoilers here. I wonder if it will be shown in Singapore. Probably not since a number of her overseas productions weren't shown too.

Policeman versus lawyer

 *Taken from a Facebook posting

If you ever testify in court, you might wish you could have been as sharp as this policeman.

He was being cross-examined by a defense attorney during a felony trial. The lawyer was trying to undermine the police officer's credibility ...

Q: 'Officer --- did you see my client fleeing the scene?'

A: 'No sir. But I subsequently observed a person matching the description of the offender, running several blocks away.'

Q: 'Officer, who provided this description?'

A: 'The officer who responded to the scene.'

Q: 'A fellow officer provided the description of this so-called offender. Do you trust your fellow officers?'

A: 'Yes, sir. With my life.'

Q: 'With your life? Let me ask you this then officer. Do you have a room where you change your clothes in preparation for your daily duties?'

A: 'Yes sir, we do!'

Q: 'And do you have a locker in the room?'

A: 'Yes, sir, I do.'

Q: 'And do you have a lock on your locker?'

A: 'Yes, sir.'

Q: 'Now, why is it, officer, if you trust your fellow officers with your life, you find it necessary to lock your locker in a room you share with these same officers?'
A: 'You see, sir, we share the building with the court complex, and sometimes lawyers have been known to walk through that room.'

The courtroom EXPLODED with laughter, and a prompt recess was called.

Poor McDonald's commercial

McDonalds' is known to have either wonderful or dumb TV commercials. Its latest advertisement is about the new Everyday Savers Menu that consists of three new items, Honey Lemon Drumlets, Blueberry Sundae and Taro Pie. Unfortunately, the commercial is really a pain to my ears whenever I hear it on TV.

The rapper sounds like some rap star wannabe who is still nothing but just an amateur. Rap is supposed to make people not understand what the whole song is all about until they check out the lyrics. Unfortunately, the rapper in the video chants words so vividly that he should just read them out without the music.

Speaking of which, the lyrics are simply distasteful. The phrase "taro-fic investment" sounds extremely uncreative while "affordable gastronomy" is too ambitious for a commercial promoting cheaper food alternatives. If one really wants to save up and be thrifty, he wouldn't even consider going to a fast food restaurant in the first place.

Anyway, this is one of the classics which McDonald's had. It still remains as one of my favourites after so many years and commercials.

No AIM please

The controversy which PAP town councils and the PAP-owned Action Information Management (AIM) had caused earlier this year may have subsided. However, part two seems to have started. PAP town councils are now calling for a new tender as AIM's contract is set to end on 30 April.

The bizarre thing here is that AIM had helped prepare the tender specifications for the IT system. PAP refused to comment on whether AIM will continue as its service provider and the latter is keeping mum over its decision to submit a tender.

In this case, AIM would be handed with an advantage in the tender since it already has knowledge of what it's all about. Other companies, which have to spend more time preparing, will find it highly unfair. AIM might also alter certain details of the tender specifications to benefit itself.

I reckon that in order not to cause any allegations and anymore controversies, AIM should stay out of this tender. Plus, if none of the companies who participated in the tender were successful, AIM should not have its contract automatically reviewed.

It is interesting to see what the men in white have to say about this latest saga.

Harlem Shake

Before you continue reading this post, take a look at the below sentence. It looks as innocent as it should be. Nothing right or wrong about it.

"Once upon a time, there were three little pigs."

Sounds familiar? Am I gonna start telling you a fairytale?

"Once upon a time, there were three little pigs."

"Once upon a time, there were three little pigs."

"...there were three little pigs."

"...there were three little pigs."

"...there were three little pigs."

"three little pigs."

"three little pigs."

Now close your eyes and count to five. No cheating. Dishonest people will get caught in traffic jams more often.
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You should have opened your eyes by now. Don't worry, traffic will be smooth for you if you had closed them.
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"Goldilocks was playing baseball with Red Riding Hood while Jack was chopping a beanstalk for Rapunzel to eat. Cinderella is fed up that she doesn't have any beanstalks to eat so she vented her anger on Snow White who got punched in the face. Sleeping Beauty was awoken by the punching and went fishing with Pinocchio but they ended up catching Ugly Duckling from the river."

Sounds random? That's what the latest craze on Youtube is all about. It's called the Harlem Shake! Do not confuse with banana milkshake or protein shake.

In case you do not surf Youtube or do not have retarded Facebook friends who share Harlem Shake videos, Harlem Shake is a concept whereby one person in the clip starts moving about while the others just remain calm as if nothing happened. But after 15 seconds or so, when the music changes tempo, everybody starts doing random stuff.

In fact, the more random the actions are, the funnier it would turn out to be. People do all sorts of unpredictable things. Yes, anything that you can or just cannot imagine.

But this trend is definitely no dance. Compared to Gangnam Style or Moonwalk, which at least have some standard moves in them, Harlem Shake is totally silly. You can run, jump, roll and even fall out of a window (the Norwegian Army did that).

Harlem Shake is definitely not a dance. It should be classified as an Internet meme thanks to the video, which went viral since early February, where five costumed guys literally shaked to the song "Harlem Shake" by American DJ Baauer.

There are currently more than 12,000 Harlem Shake clips on Youtube. However, I bet this phenomenon will shake out by the end of this month. Only a handful are truly hilarious, the rest are just so dumb. The people who star in it are dumb and the people who share them on social networking sites are even dumber.

"Pinocchio brought Ugly Duckling back home to roast it. Sleeping Beauty fell asleep while drinking a glass of lemonade. Snow White got her revenge when the seven dwarfs whacked Cinderella. Rapunzel decides to bleach her hair blue. Jack decided to cook the beanstalk with prawns. Red Riding Hood wanted to do a Harlem Shake and Godilocks thinks that she is retarded."

Largest public protest: New dawn rising

A protest, arguably the largest that Singapore has ever had, was held at the Speakers' Corner yesterday. Singaporeans from all walks of life arrived at Hong Lim Park to oppose the flawed Population White Paper. The event was organized by Transitioning.org, a non-profit society aimed at helping unemployed Singaporeans.

Speakers of the historic event include former presidential candidates Tan Kin Lian and Tan Jee Say, members of opposition parties as well as ordinary Singapore citizens. Although the objective of the protest is clear, the amount of people who attended is uncertain.

Reuters reported that at least 4000 turned up while Associated Press (AP) stated at nearly 3000 attended. Others like BusinessWeek and South China Morning Post noted that there were "thousands of Singaporeans" present. However, there was one newspaper which stood out from the rest.

No matter how unprejudiced and neutral The Straits Times claims itself to be, we all have the answer in our hearts. In its article today, it continues to prove that it is nothing more than a government mouthpiece by quoting AFP (Agence France-Presse) that the number was 1000 to 1500.

The fact is that the AFP report, which was brought by Yahoo News, claimed that "more than 2000 people" turned up. So where on earth did the digits 1000 and 1500 came from? You may check out the link for proof. http://au.news.yahoo.com/world/a/-/world/16160139/mass-rally-in-singapore-seeks-immigration-curbs/

Since the last general elections, Singaporeans have become more and more open to supporting opposition parties and showing their displeasure at incompetent government policies. The massive turnout no doubt continues to show that locals are more willing to participate in politics these days. It is only a matter of fact before another GRC goes to a non-white party.

Confessions

What's the latest craze on Facebook? Farmville? Tetris Battle? Or Diamond Dash? To hell with all those stupid game requests from stupid friends. The "in" thing now is all about confessions. NTU Confessions for students, SAF Confessions for soldiers and there's even a PAP Confessions now.

So, what if Confession pages of more variety appear on Facebook? What kind of content would one get to read?



Apple Confessions

"I have been an Apple user since primary school, My house has an iMac, 2 Macbooks, an iPad, 3 iPhones and 3 iPods. But I was never a fan. I was forced by my Apple-crazy parents and brother to become one. The iMac looks cool but the wifi is just BS. If only my family was obsessed with Juicy Couture and Dr Martens."

An Apple Cinderella

"I am a hardcore Apple fan and never fail to defend its products whenever my non-Apple friends make fun of them. However, iPhone 5 was really crappy and I almost gave up on siding it. Hope iPhone 6 will be much better, pleaseeeeee"

Apple For Life



Daily Commute Confessions

"To the guy who boarded bus 980 at Sungei Road at 7:45 this morning. You forgot to zip your pants and a banglah kept staring down there."

The girl who sat at the last row

"I waited 35 mins for that bloody number 11 last night."

Angry Commuter A

"I waited 40 mins for that bloody number 50 this morning."

Angry Commuter B

"I waited 45 mins for bus 123 and in the end, 3 of them arrived together."

Angry Commuter C

"Walau eh so many complaints here, I'll confess a short one....I'd always secretly hope that fat people don't get a seat because when they do, they take up two."

Anonymous



Orchard Road Confessions

"Once when Orchard had a flood, I took my evil boss' watch and threw it into the water. I resigned three days later as I couldn't work with guilt all over me. It was a Patek Philippe btw."

Naughty Boy

"Lim pei admit Ion is the most swee mall in Ochaard but I never go there before as I prefer wear slipper to gai gai.

Ah Beng



S.League Confessions

"I support Woodlands Wellington as I stay next to their stadium but I know I'll be a joke if I told my friends about it"

Woodlands Boy

"I attended my first S.League match last week only because I heard that there were free hot dogs and Milo."

Forever Manchester United



Mediacorp Confessions

"I have worked there for 14 years and I dare say that Rui En is the "best" artiste anybody can ever work with!!!!!!!!!!"

Slave

"I saw Jeanette Aw at the canteen today, she looks quite short without heels after all."

Just another cameraman

"Filming always takes forever whenever The Queen is present. Guess who's that."

Kaypoh



Parliament Confessions

"Whenever I look down at the person speaking from the area I'm seating, I have to control myself from laughing at Tharman's shining head. It used to be two when George Yeo was still around."

A Member of Parliament

Un-corrupted

Congratulations to Ng Boon Gay for being acquitted of corruption. It is evident that the former CNB chief was an innocent man right from the start. CPIB was the one wasting our time and more importantly, taxpayers' monies all this while.

Now, the question is, will Ng be reinstated? Whether it is a yes or no doesn't seem to matter much anymore. Instead, it is time we turn our heads and fingers towards CPIB and its parent agency which is none other than the Prime Minister's Office. By the way, what does PMO really do huh?

The Corrupt Practices Investigation Bureau was dealt with another blow this week after one of its officers was being investigated for suspected financial impropriety. CPIB has referred the case to CAD (Commercial Affairts Department) to investigate.

Since CPIB is in the headlines, I was thinking about this.

The audit department audits its company's accounts. An external audit firm audits that entire company. The audit department within the audit firm audits its own organization. The authorities audit the audit firm. The government audits the authorities. The president audits the government. The highest tier of the judiciary audits the president.

But then, the judiciary is under the authorization of the Constitution and the Constitution is enacted by the parliament. Yeah, and Parliament refers to lawmakers which also mean the government. So who is the biggest here? Citizens? Central bank? Or maybe just a certain Lee-der.

Anyway, to the person or people who were apparently after Ng Boon Gay's head for whatever reason, you guys failed terribly in your mission. Time to get some better lawyers who can rival Wongpartnership's Tan Chee Meng. The public prosecutors still require lots of improvement.

More than a duty

Here's yet another example why PAP MPs are making their party's popularity plunge deeper and deeper. First, it was Inderjit Singh of Ang Mo Kio GRC last week. He spoke passionately during the White Paper debate but still voted a yes.

Now, we have Bishan-Toa Payoh GRC's Mr Hri Kumar Nair who has, via a Facebook posting on Tuesday, proposed levying an additional income and property tax on PRs and foreigners living in Singapore

"My proposal is therefore a simple one. All PRs and foreigners must pay additional income and property tax to be called a National Defence Duty. In short, we do duty, they pay a duty."

He reasoned that since PRs and FTs are able to contribute manpower to the military or police, they should make a financial contribution instead. The man in white also stated that those whose sons are liable for NS will be exempted.

First of all, it is great that the MP recognizes the contributions of citizen soldiers. However, National Service should not come with a price tag (and so does eating bak kwa). Singaporean males waste spend two years of their youth to serve and not work for the nation.

Two years of service plus another seven high-key reservist trainings is mandated by the law but legal issues aside, it is an honour to play a part in the nation's defence. Honour should not be associated with money because well, one starts with H and the other M.

If one must put a price on NS, then every minor detail has to be taken into consideration. What is the market rate of driving a 5-tonner at midnight? Any surcharge? How much does it cost to run 1 km in combat boots? What about paying soldiers the wage of a cleaner for washing toilets?

By allowing non-Singaporeans the easy way of "paying themselves out of NS", the government will look as if it is degrading those who risked to serve the nation. The SAF or Home Team is a rigorous environment to work in and doing a duty is definitely more dangerous than just paying a duty.

Just take a look at the number of unfortunate events that the military had in 2012. What is Hri Kumar trying to state? Foreigners can fork out some money in exchange of "an escape" while locals have no choice but to suffer physically, psychologically and financially.

The contributions by us are priceless and the experience we gain are invaluable. Not even 6.9 million dollars is enough to recognize that. 6.9 million? Sounds familiar. Familiarly dumb. By who ah?

Najib so pai seh

What an embarrassing moment for Malaysia's prime minister Najib Razak.

Najib: Are you ready for PSY???
Rakyat: Yesssss!!!
Najib: Are you ready for PSY???
Rakyat: Yesssss!!!
Najib: Are you ready for PSY???
Rakyat: Yesssss!!!

Najib: Are you ready for BN???
Rakyat: Nooooo!!!
Najib: Are you ready for BN???
Rakyat: Nooooo!!!
Najib: Are you ready for BN???
Rakyat: Nooooo!!!

But that embarrassment is nothing compared to a highly likely electoral defeat that the Barisan Nasional faces in the upcoming general elections.



Speaking of which, since we are on the subject of Malaysia, here's yet another parody of the mega-famous Gangnam Style by Malaysian flash animator JessTheDragoon and her brother, Josh Tam, who took charge of the music composition and singing. The song contains wacky Hokkien lyrics while the animated PSY continues wearing those trademark shades but now spots a long beard just like the God of Wealth.

Enjoy.

Happy Chinese New Year

Just like last year, I commited myself to draw a Chinese New Year picture for this blog. Hope the snake doesn't look too noob to you. Well, I have no choice but to paint a noob-looking one for auspiciousness anyway. Here's wishing all readers a happy and healthy lunar new year! *Dong Dong Dong Dong Chiang Chiang Chiang* Just some sound effects lah...

Fashion Forward: Song Ji-hyo, Lee Yeon Hee

Just a random entry about fashion today.

I thought that the white Philipp Plein lace dress worn by Running Man's only female member Song Ji-hyo a couple of days ago looked decent and matches her prefectly. She was attending the VIP premiere of "The New World" which took place at COEX Megabox in Gangnam (style...). The outfit consisted of studs at the shoulder areas and creative cut-outs at the sleeves. The pair of black pumps which she opted for were a little "too mainstream" though.

The runway look for the Philipp Plein dress was much edgier with the studs and all. However, Song Ji-hyo manages to pull off a totally different look with her fair skin and ponytail. It is also commendable that she chose not to put on any wrist accessories in order not to make things look complicated. Two thumbs up for putting an essence of feminess into a rocker style garment.

Since I am on the topic of fashion, I would also like to highlight another outfit by a South Korean that is worth praising.

Fellow South Korean actress Lee Yeon Hee attended Isabel Marant's flagship store in Seoul two months ago where she donned a blue ensemble from the label's Fall/Winter 2012 collection. Going for blue on blue may not be a wise choice but Lee Yeon Hee has proved that wearing the same colour on different layers can make one stand. The black pumps (again) may be boring but it gave the top all the limelight that it should get.

The flowery pattern and the blue patches on the jacket complimented well to give an urban yet avant garde look. The length of the jacket, which goes down close to the knees, is the biggest plus point. The length of the pants constrasted well with the jacket's size to keep things proportionate.

Oh yes, and if you have not watched (or heard of) the Korean drama Ghost which Lee Yeon Hee stars in, then you should check it out. It is one of the best, and probably the best after all, Hallyu show in 2012.

Ben Affleck wins DGA award

Congratulations to Ben Affleck for winning the top film honour at the 65th Directors Guild of America (DGA). The director of the thriller film Argo defeated the likes of heavyweights Steven Spielberg and Lee Ang, as well as Tom Hooper and Kathyrn Bigelow.

Affleck's victory solidifies his movie as a frontrunner at the Academy Awards. Ironically, the list of nominees for Best Director does not include Affleck's name although Amour has numerous nominations in other categories. Surprisingly, Hooper (for Les Miserables) and Bigelow (Zero Dark Thirty) were also snubbed.

Ben Affleck has been on a winning streak after being awarded at the Golden Globes, Producers Guild Awards and Screen Actors Guild Awards. So, it is a bit puzzling that the Argo director was not an Oscar nominee. Affleck will become only the seventh DGA winner in history who fails to win an Oscar.

Another awkward situation that may take place at the Oscars is Argo winning the Best Picture award. That will mean having a Best Picture winner where the director of the film was not even part of the nomination list.

But even if Affleck were to be nominated, I reckon that Michael Haneke, who directed the critically acclaimed Amour, will still emerge as the winner. Amour is arguably the finest production in the film industry last year. Even Time Magazine ranked it as its number one movie.

Once again, congrats to Ben Affleck. If possible, he should consider adding wife Jennifer Garner into the cast of his next movie. And I think he should shave that beard of his.

Interesting pictures

Smoking ban extension

With effect from 15 Janauary, smokers would have less places to light up. Like myself, every single non-smoker (except for those who sell cigarettes) is definitely willing to give this ban extension a round of applause.

From the list of new areas which are now smoke-free, I can only conclude that smokers will have a tougher time when puffing. That is because they have to endure the sun because places where smoking is allowed are hardly sheltered.

I dare not heap praise on myself but I think that I am generally not too intolerant of second-hand smoke so long as guy is moderately considerate. Those who freely take a ciggie break without giving a damn about their surroundings deserve to be the first casualties of tobacco.

Well, judging from those who light up in public, this latest smoking ban extension doesn't seem to make much of an impact at the moment. People are still smoking on overhead bridges, bus stops and sheltered linkways. It gets worse when these smokers take their time to walk.

The ban extension should also include parks and beaches since these are places which boast higher amounts of human traffic. Fines should also increase to an "almost unreasonable" amount in order to make smokers think twice before taking a stick out of the box.

Change of topic. My condolences to the family, especially the mother, of the two Tampines boys who had to leave at such a young age. Life is fragile, so always cherish those around you and do not take things for granted. And that applies to non-living things as well.

Change of topic again. On a lighter note, I read that 27 out of the 59 eligible voters living in overseas decided to cast their vote. PAP got 19 votes, WP received 7 and there was one spoilt vote. What! One guy actually went all the way to the polling station just to spoil his vote? Simply retarded.