War between man and insects

While I was reading the book Strange Tales of LiaoZhai during noon yesterday, I came across this paragraph which I found it quite interesting so I shall share it with you all

"From time immemorial, the war between man and insects continued endlessly, mankind suffers from the harassment of the insects, yet has no solution for it. Hence they could only send out the small eagles, small hounds and tiny soldiers and kill the insects with their imagination"

Do you understand it? Maybe you need to read the story to comprehend better

Man U vs Chelsea

This week's Premier League blockbuster, Manchester United takes on Chelsea at Old Trafford. My prediction is that Man U will draw Chelsea on the 1X2. A quick check at the Singapore Pools website at 10am show that odds are at a relatively high $2.90. Actually, the price has dropped, if you had placed a bet on draw yesterday, it was still at $3. So if you trust my prediction, bet it as ASAP in case the price continue to plunge like the bloody hell STI index during yesterday afternoon


The Blues managed to secure a draw the last time both teams met in the league at Stamford Bridge so it will not be surprising if both sides end the game with a stalemate, again. United are the favourites since they have won their past seven Premier League matches at home. With all the good things about the Red Devils, it might be immense pressure on them and this will do Chelsea a favour

Both teams are desperate to close on the gap with Liverpool who sit at the top of the table. Both sides should attack from the start and their midfields will cancel each other out in the centre. Then, it will be a battle by the touchlines where the wing players will be relied heavily to provide ammunition. It is also going to be interesting to see Cristiano Ronaldo and Ashley Cole against each other again

In a whole, I predict a 1-1 draw. Man U will score first and it is during the first half before Chelsea equalize after the break. The home-draw bet at $13 looks attractive but I rather you not take the risk in case United do not score in the first half. Total goals of 2 is also considerable as the payout is at a high of $3.30. By the way, Jose Mourinho will be at Old Trafford tomorrow to watch his old team play as he prepares his Inter Milan for the Champions League clash with Man U in February

Merging ministries

Due to the global financial firestorm, the government has decided to come up with a new plan to cope with it. It is to merge ministries together like how they merge SMC into GRC. RealBlurPolitics® speak to Mr Angkat Bola, a spokesman for the Prime Minister's Office to understand better. Mr Angkat said that the government will combine at least two ministries together to form a new one. He mentioned that the move will save costs, provide greater interaction among civil servants and create racial harmony

Here is a rough overview of how it will look like according to Mr Angkat

The Defence ministry and Home Affairs ministry will become one and it will be renamed Safety ministry. Our country has been renowned for having a wonderful defence force. By making both ministries work together, we will have a strong defence force in, out and around our nation. Also, the defence side will be keeping a close eye on the Home Affairs side to make sure that silly incidents do not happen again, like letting a short and limping terrorist escape from a grilleless toilet window

Ministry of Community Development, Youth and Sports and ministry of Information, Communications and the Arts will also merge into a single one called Fun ministry. These two ministries deal with less crucial things in the country like counselling youngsters, making the country become world-famous for holding the first F1 night race, watching movies before the public do and cut scenes wherever they want, promoting arts to the people here who are more interested in doing something more useful instead etc

The ministries of National Development, Manpower and Trade and Industry will combine to become the Labour ministry. These three are the more rigorous ones and making them work closely will boost the economy. JTC Corporation, together with National Parks Board and Housing Development Board will sweat together to create more homes and parks in the western part of the country. Due to multifariousness issues, a Malay minister is needed speak up in parliament and watch the Chinese closely

Health, Law, Education, Transport and Finance ministries will all become one family as they are the ones who grab the headlines more often. Hence, the new name will be leading actor, oops I mean leading ministry. Civil servants working in statutory boards under this ministry will receive bonuses first before their counterparts from others and are the least possible people to get retrenched

The ministry of the Environment and Water Resources will team up with PMO to work together to achieve the goals they setted. Actually, it is more like the story of DBS and POSB where the latter gets "eaten up" but still operates with the former pulling the strings daily since the only significant thing MEWR came up with was NEWater. Those hybrid cars or whatever you call it costs a bomb and only our ministers with thick salaries can afford buying one

Foreign Affairs ministry will remain as it is since it maintains diplomatic relations with 165 other countries. Having another ministry to chup will only complicate matters. Furthermore, there are 55 resident foreign Embassies and High Commissions, 39 foreign Consular posts and 8 International Organisations here, so it will take a long time for them to adapt to a newcomer

Earliest record I arrived in school

I reached school at 7.40am today. It is the earliest record ever thanks to the Oral Communication presentation. When I was in the toilet with Nas and Zhi Teng before going to class, we decided not to tuck in our shirts as the cutting was those tucked out kind. Zhi Teng's one looks like the tuck in kind but he didn't care too and the shirt looks a little too big for him, making him look like he is wearing a trenchcoat, those worn by British soldiers in World War 1

The three of us discussed the presentation last night on MSN and this the screenshot of Zhi Teng and I doing a video conference

and that is my feet "talking" to him

The bloody lecturer was late himself, he said he will be in the classroom by 7.50 to let us prepare but he arrived at 8 I think. Then the three of us stood outside the class like idiots perspiring in our long sleeve shirts. After the lecturer came, we prepared a little and took the advantage to quickly start our presentation as only a few people had arrived. Overall, I think we fared well and Zhi Teng spoke much better today. Actually we wanted to show a video at the end but did not do so in the end because of some problem but I shall show you all here what is it about


Then at Maths, the old witch continued her differentiation and all the dy over dx thingy. At Data Comm, we drew graphs which the lecturer said we have to memorize. I took some photos in class

Oi Jerry, sit down lah! Don't kaypoh other people!


Zhi Teng forever playing his handphone no matter where he is

And this is the photo of the day, taken in Character Developement class
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FAT ARM!!! Yes, that's my lecturer

I had a nightmare

Last night, I had a nightmare. It was about the presentation during Oral Communication on Thursday. My group was the first to present but both Zhi Teng and I were late. When we arrived there, Nas looked annoyed as he was waiting for us. Th audience had also arrived before us and had already settle down. This is part 1.

Part 2 is Zhi Teng's attire. He came in a T-shirt with jeans instead of the office kind of attire. Nas was getting more angry by then and Zhi Teng didn't seem to bother at all. Then we started presenting, Nas and I forgotten our lines and did not know what to do halfway but luckily Zhi Teng saved us. But he himself did not fare better as well, he kept on reading from the computer and did not look at the audience at all. This is part 3

When we finished our presentation, the lecturer asked why were we so "below standard"? Still irritated by our punctuality and Zhi teng's attire, Nas threw a chair at the lecturer and stomped out of the class. I think someone went to chase after him and I could not remember what happened after that

I will have to reach school before 8am tomorrow as my group is really the first to present, but being first has it's advantage as well, which is you can quickly get over with it as soon as possible

6 January

Today morning went for GEM lesson on psychology, only one-third of the class arrived when I reached and I only know two people there. One was my classmate, Nicholas while the other was Stanley from DIT. I sat at my usual place right at the back in a corner. Then feeling bored listening to the old female lecturer talking, I moved over to crap with Stanley, then we crap, crap, crap and the lecturer also crap, crap, crap. I was wondering where was Nas, he should have been in class by then given his punctuality everyday. Then finally at 8.30, my classmates all came and I reluctantly moved back to my usual place to pave way for the others to sit but only one person came to sit in my row. Then I called Nas and he said he will come later, betrayer

During some part of the lesson, we were asked to write down things we fear, so these are some which I penned down. Fear of no money, fear of white tigers in the zoo, fear of getting trapped in the Singapore Flyer, fear of going under an ERP gantry, fear of cockroaches and many more

Then went for Maths and that old witch talked about differentiation and the class was spooking quiet like a cemetery, so I tried to create some noise together with Nas and we sort of succeeded by making everyone awake. Next was computer hardware and nothing interesting happened. Just that when I first entered class and sat down for ten seconds, Teo Shin Jen who is the lecturer requested me to change the name I linked him on my blog to his blog address instead of his name. Yes, i did what he wanted as he said he wants to remain mysterious but I am going to tell you all now anyway. So there's no secret at all

At lunch, I asked Zhi Teng to buy the indian chicken fried rice for me. The thing looks red and I don't remember eating a single shred of chicken at all. We discussed about our Oral Communication project which is giving us lots of headache from the topic we want to choose to the powerpoint slides to the clothes we have to wear on Thursday. Suddenly, the girl from the bench beside ours came over and asked if she can borrow our computer. At first, it seems that she was asking me as she looked at me first(maybe because I'm so charming)but turned to Zhi Teng when she finished talking

So Zhi Teng entertained her and she brought her laptop over to our bench and sat with us beside Zhi Teng. Nas and I were sitting in the opposite side so we did not manage to see what they were doing so happily. After a while she left, looking quite satisfied but she left a book behind. It was about skyscrapers and all those building stuff. As she did not came back to take the book, we decided to return it to the library on her behalf

By the way, I am the one who suggested to return it to the library, don't you think I am such a kind and caring person?

TLN finale

The Little Nyonya is coming to an end tonight. The final two episodes will be aired back to back from 8pm to 10pm. But I already know the ending and I shall tell you all, Yueniang and Chen Xi will not be together happily ever after. Yueniang will marry that ang moh lawyer called Paul while Chen Xi and Libby will tie the knot and have 6 children. It is a tragic yet happy ending for the show and viewers will surely be disappointed. The scriptwriter was really wicked to have made the story like this. Maybe in this way, people will remember this drama better and miss it more

Let's see if we will have post drama syndromes on Tuesday

Japlish

Share with you people something funny. It's called Japlish, Japanese plus English

First day of school

Yesterday, while I was walking in Clementi, I noticed something which I have not seen for at least the past four weeks. Yes, it is students wearing school uniforms and white shoes, carrying their bags and books, either alone or in a noisy group. Speaking about wearing school uniforms and white shoes, the last time I did it was during my literature examination during the 2007 O levels. I wore an office like attire to collect my O level results instead of our white or yellow uniform which most people wore on that day and my shoes were black. While walking into the hall, I met York Seng and he even commented about my attire and stared at those Converse sneakers which paled in comparison to his ordinary white shoes

Ok, back to the topic on what I saw on the streets. Yesterday was the first day of school for kindergarten, primary and secondary school pupils. Most parents of primary one students would take leave and stand outside(or inside)the school to take a peek at their little boy or girl if they are safe and sound. Primary six students will be preparing for their PSLE which decides their fate of which secondary school hall they will be sitting in with strangers exactly one year later. Secondary one students will find themselves in an awkward position as they have become the smallest in the school after being the eldest in primary school last year. Secondary three male students would also feel awkward as they are wearing long pants after two years of shorts. Secondary four students start to see both darkness and light as their dreaded O levels and exciting prom nights await at the end of the year

Exactly five years ago, I was playing this stupid pirate's game in the classroom with strangers or should I say new classmates? It was interesting and fun though I did not win it eventually. I remember Wai Yuen was the first one out of the game and he had to sing the pirate's song in front of thirty-nine classmates plus our form teacher, Pek Aik Soon(I prefer calling teachers by their full names). "Oh way oh way it's a pirate's life" I still recall it and you have to sing with your arm moving in one direction. Nick was one of the first few friends I made because he is just before me in the class list so we were always sort of together when we had to stand in a row

Two years later when we were all in long pants and still look so charming, we got to know more people who were our new classmates. Nick, Wai Yuen, Jian Nan and I were all together in the same class again and that is where I got to know Teck Cheong, Aarti, Jason etc. York Seng also became my new classmate but we have already known each other in NCC since sec one. Then we had a useless form teacher in Lindy Goh who only knows how to give reminders to students who are misbehaving in class. Three reminders and your parent will be called, correct me if I'm wrong Wai Yuen, Nick, Teck Cheong. I would like to elaborate more on sec three

We had the worst bunch of teachers in secondary three

Our physics teacher, Tan Puay Eng who is also the discipline master is a time bomb. He can give detentions anytime he wants to anybody in class. There was once when I answered a question wrongly on the whiteboard and then like that also kena detention. Our other science teacher, Anglie Ng who teaches chemistry is a mad dog. She can scream (or bark)like a mentally unsound person. You would be really suay if she is your neighbour. To top it all, there was our literature teacher, Jane Chng. Another champion in screaming but a little more humane than Anglie Ng. Until now, I still cannot understand how did she become the school's contemporary dance teacher with her big figure. Notice that I use the word "big" to sound more polite

When it was secondary four two years ago, we were all too familiar with one another and the school surroundings. Everything started to get boring although some teachers have changed especially our form teacher which everybody would certainly give a thumbs up. Our maths teacher, Portia Tan, told us that Lindy Goh was too tired to manage us. It is said that our class is famous in school for having the worst discipline and top in everything that is bad

That's the end of my long winded story which is only a small quarter of my secondary school life. I will write more next time when I have time

New year resolutions

RealBlurPolitics®: Ever wondered how a politician's new year resolution look like? Read on to find out

PM
I hope I can have a pay raise this year but I must think of some ways to earn those money from the citizens first. Maybe I should increase property prices to absorb more money. Then retrench some civil servants to prove to people that those working for the government do not have metal rice bowls. Isn't that killing two birds with one stone?

Home Affairs minister
My wish is very direct and it is to hope that Mas Selamat will be caught or I might get sacked. I also wish that my little people will not let me down anymore and let criminals escape so easily. I want all windows in government buildings to have grilles. Lastly, I want to grow taller

Education minister
As the economy is rather bad now, I wish that all schools can cut down on costs involving less crucial things like student welfare and plan more activities which will make students pay more. As for the new seven thousand five hundred teachers which we will be hiring this year, I hope they can all agree to settle for a lower pay where we will tell a white lie saying that as they have little or no experience, so that is their starting pay which is rather little

Foreign Affairs minister
I want to change my position as foreign affairs minister, flying around the world every now and then has made me lose quite a lot of hair. I wish I was Information, Communications and the Arts minister. Look at that skinny guy, his hair is still intact even though he's over sixty which means that job should be easier and I heard he is stepping down this year, so here's my chance

Transport minister
I wish those poly students would stop complaining about their high transport fares. Maybe I should discuss with my colleagues from other ministries to offer them some perks that will silence them for the time being. Something should also be done to solve the ERP problem, never mind, I think I'll leave that to next year when more money is collected

Thaksin Shinawatra
When can I ever return to the land of a thousand smiles? I miss drinking my tom yam soup and watching muay thai on TV, the King is ignoring me forever. In the meantime, let me do some football club shopping, which EPL club should I buy next? With the experience at Manchester City, I think I can buy a better one now

Barack Obama
Everyone is saying I am thin or whatever. I hope to train those skinny legs of mine to be more muscular so that Arnold Schwarzenegger will not laugh at me again. I hope to hire a couple of bodyguards who are good at catching shoes, in case the same thing which happened to Bush happen to me

Chen Shui Bian
I am innocent. Can somebody believe me? Those ingrates, when I was president they bootlicked me, now I am a nobody, they want me arrested. Where is justice and fairness in this world?

Abdullah Badawi
Let me pray that Uncle Mahathir will reduce the number of criticism he has on me. Anyway, I am going to hand over to Brother Najib in March although I am sort of forced to do so. Just three more months to freedom, I can endure it, yes I can

Anwar Ibrahim
My Pakatan Rakyat will go all out to defeat the Barisan Nasional and I am going to be PM to see Mahathir off to jail and make sure he suffer a worse fate than me. People are starting not to believe me after I did not do what I said last year so I am going to gain back their trust

First day of 2009

Today is the first day of 2009 although some other parts of the world are still in 2008. Although I am typing now, there is de facto nothing interesting to talk about. Perhaps I'll have some pictures here to fill up the space


People walking past a Shi'ite shrine in Baghdad's Karrada District. In 2008, life in many parts of Iraq regained a sense of tranquility.


Bikers in a race at the 2008 Beijing Olympics at Tiananmen Square


In the centre, this is one my favs. Obama and Co. going to a victory speech in June last year after he became his party's presidential candidate


You have to be a good goalkeeper(shoekeeper)to be his bodyguard


This bird is rebellious, maybe a problematic adolescent


Divine picture of nature


Random photo. I took this at the 11th floor of my block where there is lift upgrading