Po Chai Pills

Taken from Wikipedia

Do you know Po Chai pills? The one which people consume as diarrhoea medication. It may look humble with its traditional packaging and design and don't underestimate its ability to cure your upset stomach.

Anyway, I thought of a joke about Po Chai pills today and shall share it with you all here. Don't worry, it's not going to be disgusting.

Once upon a time, there was a Singaporean Ah Beng and an ang moh from America. Let's call the Singaporean as Beng and the American as James.

James: Damn it, I took those pills from the clinic but am still having the runs.

Beng (hands out two bottles of po chai pills): Try these out, take two.

James agreed and went home with the po chai pills.

The next day James complained to Beng again

James: Hey, those pills were useless too

Beng: Did you take two of them?

James: Of course I did, how long later should I take another two?

Beng: Huh? But I only gave you two!

James: I took two beads, there are still lots of them left!!!

Champions League Final

Man Utd's Park Ji-Sung doing a K-pop dance together with Pedro of Barcelona

Damn David Villa, why must his leg be so itchy and go score that third goal for Barcelona? If the score remained at 2:1 until the final whistle, I would have pawned Singapore Pools for good this time.

Honestly, my first prediction was Manchester United losing 3:1 but I was quite certain that it is not going to happen. So I decided on betting the exact score of 2:1 to Barcelona. I was pretty close but yet so far.

Lionel Messi has, once again, proven that he is the best footballer of his generation with an excellent goal and a magnificent performance. He must be kissing that pair of soccer boots he wore for the final on his bed last night.

By the way, I refuse to congratulate Barcelona on winning the trophy. Instead, I would like to say "Boo" to Manchester United and all its fans. Make England lose face only, not once but twice.

Champions League Final

Will Barcelona lift the cup again after two years or will Man United avenge for their defeat in 2009?

After much consideration, research and logical thinking, I have decided on what to bet for the Uefa Champions League final and have done it earlier today. I am going to be superstitious and not reveal what my bet is until the match is over.

However, if you know me and understand who I like or detest in football, it is not difficult to guess what my selection is. Even if I did not bet, it is also relatively easy to predict which team am I going to support for one day.

All I can say is that the undisputed best club in the world with the planet's best footballer and play with skill and beauty will win the Champions League? What were you thinking? I'm talking about Liverpool here! Why aren't they in the final?

I am not going to watch the match. I don't see the importance in it to sacrifice my sleep time. Hope those who watch it will have an entertaining and exciting time.

Peugeot Quality Time

This is a very cool commercial. I only watched it once on TV but decided to search for the video in Youtube and post it here to share with you all.

Making money

Earlier in the day, Janice smsed me (and many of her friends) informing that she has a couple of tickets to the K-Pop Heal The World 2011 concert in Singapore and she is selling them, at half the original price.

My first reaction was to just buy them at this drop-dead-gorgeous price and sell it off at an obscene amount in the black market. I might probably be able to profit more than three hundred percent from this thought.

Well, thinking twice, I decided not to. Most likely, I would have to create an account on ebay or post threads in numerous forums to "advertise".

I can get someone I know to post for me on ebay but that would mean less money entering my pockets. Also, I don't want to end up selling the tickets to somebody I know when we meet.

You never know who is who on the Internet. The good (ok maybe not so good) impression people have of me will be gone after the transaction. What if that person goes around telling other about me?

Alright, maybe I am overly paranoid. Such a good chance to make money and you still choose to decline? No wonder I am still not rich until now.

But being rich in terms of money is not all about life.

Water Tank

Most of you would have known about the news of that certain block in Woodlands which had a corpse in one of its water tanks by now.

Residents complain, make noise and unwilling pay that lucky owner of the provision shop downstairs to buy mineral water. SO what else can be done? I heard that every household is entitled to a compensation of ten lousy bucks only.

1. Sack the town council?

It was proposed by some of the people staying in that block but that is highly unlikely because this is a constituency under the lightning party. No responsibility is required. Honestly, if the town council deserves the sack, the one at my Clementi neighbourhood should have been fired long ago.

2. Sack the MP?

Sadly, the unlucky MP for this group of unlucky residents is a newbie who just started his political career in the recent elections. Chances are he will ask PUB for their "opinion" and divert the noise to other authorities but still get $15000 a month.

3. More compensation?

If you ask an eight year old kid, he will probably tell you that ten bucks is inadequate to even buy him a Transformers toy. I propose the compensation to be multiplied by at least ten times.

$100 is a fair and square amount, regardless of how many heads and legs (animals included) there are in each flat. The MP should also every house and deliver a carton of mineral water. Ah, wait a minute, elections are already over.

4. Waiver of utilities bill.

I propose that the whole block of residents enjoy a waiver of water bill for one month. This would be a good move to placate and pacify the financially-drained, mentally-traumatized and psychologically-shocked people and make them drink the water again (since it's free and they are Singaporeans)

5. Compensate a new flat

Hahaha, fat hope! Actually, I do know of somebody who happens to be staying at that now unpopular block in Woodlands and that is what he wished for. Maybe the MP and his bootlicking grassroots leaders should move there and prove to everybody that the water is safe for consumption.

Too bad, elections have concluded or else you will see all kinds of wayangs to "help" the affected residents.

NBA

Yeah, Oklahoma City Thunder beats Dallas Mavericks to level the score at 1:1. I hope Mavericks will lose because they defeated LA Lakers in the semi-final.

New Cabinet

How can I not talk about the new ministers of Singapore? Prime Minister Lee Hsien Loong announced a big change to his cabinet this afternoon. Here are the changes and my reactions to them.

Deputy Prime Ministers: Teo Chee Hean, Tharman Shanmugaratnam

Seriously, do we really need not one but two assistants to the Prime Minister? Why does Mr Lee need two back-ups? What is he trying to state? He still needs more support?

Speaking of which, Tharman is the obvious choice to become the next DPM in the post-Wong Kan Seng (shall talk about him later) era. He has the brains and vision to be the second highest-ranking person in the government.

As for Teo Chee Hean, the probability of him taking over as Prime Minister in the future is even higher now with the latest reshuffle.

Defence Minister: Ng Eng Hen

Not much of a surprise. He is expected to be "transferred" to another ministry after a disappointing performance as Education minister. The Defence Ministry is no doubt his next destination.


Finance Minister: Tharman Shanmugaratnam

It's Tharman again! That is a brace for this guy. Let's see how much more hair will he drop from all the counting and calculating of figures.


Foreign Minister: K. Shanmugam

Not much of a surprise either since there are very limited choices in parliament. I thought Lim Hng Kiang would take over George Yeo aka the scapegoat for this post though.


Home Affairs Minister: Teo Chee Hean

From the armed forces to the police force, Teo would be a reliable bet for his new position. Wong Kan Seng would need to learn a thing or two from him.

National Development Minister: Khaw Boon Wan

Hahaha! The shortie Mah Bow Tan has been kicked out and replacing him is another unpopular shortie PAP minister! Khaw does not seem to be the best choice as housing minister though.

I wonder if he will be able to decrease HDB flat prices to as low as $8. Go google "khaw boon wan eight dollar" if you don't understand what I mean.

Law Minister: K. Shanmugam

Another Indian minister scores a brace! It is 99.99% expected that Shanmugam would continue to head the law ministry. As Law Minister, he has been rather "dormant" so appointing him as the schedule-packed foreign affairs minister was a wise move.

Health Minister: Gan Kim Yong

There is a high chance that Gan will screw up the healthcare system of Singapore like what Khaw Boon Wan did. Polyclinic prices are not going to go down because he took over the health ministry.

He needs to learn how to slim down first before becoming a health minister.


Transport Minister: Lui Tuck Yew

Raymond Lim is gone as well. Well, a good punishment for him anyway. Raymond (with the surname Lim) has been boasting about increasing bus and train frequencies every now and then when he was minister but we all know that he's lying.

Lui is a decent choice for this challenging job but I still think that he will not be able to resolve the ERP issue. MRT trains will still be equally packed in the near future.

Manpower Minister: Tharman Shanmugaratnam

It's a hat-trick for Tharman! I wonder if his salary will triple whilst holding three different portfolios in the cabinet.

Tharman will only be holding this position on a temporary basis. Expect this post to be taken over by someone else within the next three years.

Trade and Industry Minister: Lim Hng Kiang

No change. Lim is one of the few quiet ministers who prefer to shun away from the limelight. A good strategy indeed as he managed to keep his job without producing much good news.

Education Minister: Heng Swee Kiat

Who the hell is he? He was the former managing director of the Monetary Authority of Singapore and only joined politics at this year's elections. And now, he's going to become a millionaire minister!

Swee Kiat, you are damn Heng although I don't understand why the PM chose you.

Environment and Water Resources Minister: Vivian Balakrishnan

Vivian deserves to be given the boot as well but I guess he was given one last chance as he is still "young". Expect to see some creative yet sustainable proposals by him during his reign.

Information, Communication and Arts Minister: Yaacob Ibrahim

No comments.

Community Development, Youth and Sports (Acting) Minister: Chan Chun Sing

What the hell is this guy doing in the cabinet? He did not even contest a single election in his life and is now a minister (never mind the word 'acting")?

Two thumbs down for this appointment. The worst decision of all. Hope he will not follow Mah Bow Tan's footsteps in the future.

Ministers in Prime Minister’s Office: Lim Swee Say, S Iswaran

Lim Swee Say still holds the unglamorous title of minister without portfolio with a new partner this time. Iswaran, with his new appointment, looks set to be part of the PAP suicide squad in Aljunied GRC at the next elections.


Emeritus Senior Minister: Goh Chok Tong

The biggest joke has to be saved for the last. Now what is Emeritus Senior Minister? Why not call Fandi Ahmad as Emeritus Striker of the national football team then?

I shall exclude the ministers of state as those are just small-fry.

Lastly, I would like to say, George Yeo, you are not alone.

So Klose

Miroslav was so Klose yet so far. An incredibly bad season for Bayern Munich indeed. Well, Liverpool is always there to accompany them.

Blogskin and new games

After one whole month of contemplating, I have decided to stick with the current blogskin because of three reasons.

Number one, I like this blogskin. Number two, readers like this blogskin. Number three, I am too lazy to look for another one and don't want to risk being criticized for finding an inferior one.

I have also added some games to this blog once again in an attempt make it a more entertaining experience for visitors. Please click on the games at the left and try them out. Feel free to give feedback like whether are they fun, is the loading time too long etc.

More plans to the site will be announced and implemented in the near future so do visit this blog frequently.

The same question

Many many people, so many that I have lost count how many were there, have asked me this question. A question about me where I do not have a definite answer. When are you enlisting?

Sometimes, when I can't be bothered to answer it for the nth time, I would just shoot back the universal "I don't know". If I am in a good mood, I might joke around and say that I am too precious to be risked in a war, that's why they excluded me.

After answering that question, I would ask myself, do I need to inform him/her when I receive that sacred orange letter? Then I would continue to shoot another question in my brain, so how many people do I need to inform in total?

Also, so what if I inform them? Are they going to have big reactions? "Oh Raymond, let me treat you to a scrumptious meal first, the food inside there is bad" or "I will buy you a non-camera phone as a gift before you enlist".

You might argue that informing them is a means of contacting and communicating. I beg to differ. So what if I told them? Will they make the first move and call me after half a year to ask what is my vocation?

The answer is pretty obvious. Well, this is all part of human nature. People ask me such a question because they ran out of topics to talk about. So being pretentious has become the norm for everybody. I stay quiet or away from the crowd every now and then as I dislike being a hypocrite.

You might strongly disagree with what I state but that will only further justify that I am correct.

SM and MM to retire

Breaking news from Channel NewsAsia!!!

Senior Minister Goh Chok Tong and Minister Mentor Lee Kuan Yew on Saturday said they have decided to leave the Cabinet for Prime Minister Lee Hsien Loong and his team to have a fresh clean slate.

In a joint statement, they said: "We have studied the new political situation and thought how it can affect the future. We have made our contributions to the development of Singapore. The time has come for a younger generation to carry Singapore forward in a more difficult and complex situation.

"The Prime Minister and his team of younger leaders should have a fresh clean slate. A younger generation, besides having a non-corrupt and meritocratic government and a high standard of living, wants to be more engaged in the decisions which affect them.

"After a watershed General Election, we have decided to leave the Cabinet and have a completely younger team of ministers to connect to and engage with this young generation in shaping the future of our Singapore.

"But the younger team must always have in mind the interests of the older generation. This generation who has contributed to Singapore must be well-looked after."

- CNA/ms

Wonder who will be the two new free-riders to take over the seats which are vacated...

The Clementi Mall

As a Clementi boy having lived here for my entire damn life, I am proud to let everyone know more about The Clementi Mall, the pride and new symbol of the same old small and serene town.

Blu Jaz

Taken from www.blujaz.net

Two days ago, I went to this restaurant/cafe/bar called Blu Jaz. It is located at Bali Lane, somewhere near to Raffles hospital. Its menu consists of mainly pasta and western food although there are also local dishes like chicken curry.

I ordered fish and chips (one of the cheapest set on the menu) and its taste is worth its price, nothing more or less, just right for something amounting to $7.90. The fish was fresh and was cooked with better technique compared to the over-rated Botak Jones.

Its website, www.blujaz.net, claims that it has decent prices for its meals. Well, at least for me, I still find the prices a bit too much. A glass of lime juice costs $2.50 while french fries requires you to part with 5 whole bucks!

The worst thing about this restaurant has gotta be the lighting. I don't know if they were trying to save the earth or what but the place was so dim that I had difficulties trying to read the menu.

The staff there seriously need to understand that lights are supposed to be switched on when the sun sets, at least when you need to read something.

There was a mini-stage there as well where a drum set, keyboard and other things a musical band would use for performing are placed at. There was this ang moh 'warming-up" his drums by beating it softly and monotonously.

A little bit irritating but the chatters of other people in the restaurant were more than enough to drown the sounds of the weak drum beats.


Oh, one more thing. The only thing blue about Blu Jaz is its signboard. It is conspicous enough for you to notice it from 500 metres.

Overall, I would only rate it at 5/10. One thumb down for this trying-to-act-modest middle-class cafe.

World's strongest bank

It is a pleasant surprise to know that Singapore's Overseas Chinese Banking Corp bank has been ranked as the world's strongest bank by Bloomberg.


A strong performance for the fiscal year of 2010 is the biggest evidence to why OCBC managed to edge out the other two local banks to shine on the international stage.

Development Bank of Singapore (DBS) and United Overseas Bank (UOB) only managed to achieve fifth and sixth place respectively. UOB has been disappointing lately, allowing OCBC and DBS to advance ahead of it.

Svenska Handelsbanken of Sweden clinched the runner-up spot while two Canadian banks, National Bank of Canada and Canadian Imperial Bank of Commerce, make up the list of the top five.

Standard Chartered and CitiGroup came in at a modest fifteenth and sixteenth respectively while Credit Suisse Group of Switzerland managed to secure number thirteen.

I don't expect OCBC to defend their title of the world's strongest bank next year. With the economy slowly tuning upwards in favour of the West, be prepared to see the Canadian banks and others in North and South America to be the winner next year.

Post election analysis

People are reeling over the loss of George Yeo, Chiam See Tong and Nicole Seah while others are venting their anger at Tin Pei Ling after she "kate-spaded" her way into parliament via the help of Goh Chok Tong.

Actually, it isn't really a lose-lose situation for all. I have decided to give a post-election analysis today to commemorate this memorable election in Singapore's history.

Let's talk about George Yeo first. There are still many possibilities for him after losing to Workers' Party.

1. Run for the presidential election.

2. Ask Tommy Koh to run for president and take over his job as Ambassador-At-Large

3. Swop places with Tin Pei Ling in a by-election for Marine Parade GRC since Miss Tin broke the rules on cooling-off day.

4. Join an opposition party (not impossible after being fed up for becoming the scapegoat of PAP's failed policies)

5. Be a full-time househusband.

From the above five suggestions, number two sounds the most practical since he's a former foreign affairs minister and Tommy Koh fits the bill as the republic's next president.

If George Yeo were to opt for number one, he might have to face his ex-cabinet colleagues Lim Boon Heng or S.Jayakumar. Now, that would really be one ugly fight if former PAP ministers were to compete against one another.

However, George Yeo's departure as an MP may be a blessing in disguise by normalizing democracy in this nation after sending five quality opposition candidates into parliament.

Next up, it is Chiam See Tong. He miscalculated and paid a hefty price for taking up such a gamble. He lost Potong Pasir as well as the chance to win a GRC. He should have ventured into a GRC when he was younger.

Accordingly to official numbers, Mrs Lina Chiam only lost by 78 votes (including overseas votes) to the PAP. There is already a petition for Potong Pasir resident to request for a recall election and send a Chiam back into parliament.

It appears to be seen if the Elections Department would entertain such a request. It would be interesting to see whether Mr Chiam or his wife would stand as the candidate should a recall election really occur.

As for the new Non-Constituency MPs (NCMPs) this time, there are three slots up for grabs after WP claimed six of the minimum nine by winning a GRC and a SMC.

The top three biggest losers of last night were Lina Chiam of SPP (49.64), WP's Yee Jenn Jong (48.99) and the WP team of East Coast GRC (45.17). Since WP would have 8 seats in parliament, they should be gracious and give up one to another alternative party.

Nicole Seah would be an automatic choice. She really should enter parliament and make Tin Pei Ling look like a fool. Nicole would also be indirectly representing her party's secretary-general, Goh Meng Seng, who is critical of the PAP's flawed housing policies.

While the young Nicole flies NSP's flag in parliament, her older party colleagues like Mr Goh, Tony Tan, Hazel Poa and Gilbert Goh can focus on preparations for the next elections.

Till then, NSP should learn from their mistakes and field an A team (like what WP did in Aljunied) to counter the PAP. Their main concern would be the need to recruit more quality candidates of minority race.

As for SDP, the party which rose from the ashes to pose a formiable challenge to PAP, they were just caught off guard with the sudden announcement of polling day.

Their A team at Holland-Bukit Timah did not have ample time to make their presence felt in the constituency. They shouldn't have let newbie Alec Tok contest in Bukit Panjang SMC, a ward which they have seriously worked the ground for many years.

This is definitely not a watershed election (although George Yeo and co. might argue) as PAP still holds majority of the seats in parliament. However, with all the drama, gossips, dynamic characters, highs and lows, it is certainly the most interesting and exciting polls which Singaporeans have ever witness.

Ending this post with some pictures.

My daddy's soul will always haunt you men in white!

Bring it on! I'll crush you all with my right hand.

Alamak, isn't that a little too much flowers?

Hahaha, so what? I'm still your housing minister after all!

PAP watch out. We're here to hammer you guys!

Useless cooling-off day

Today is the useless cooling-off day so I shall steer clear of anything related to the 2011 general elections and the political parties.

I still remember I started reading political news some 4 years ago, the year I took my O Levels. Since then, I have been reading, analysing, debating and criticizing many countries' elections.

Come to think of it, some elections which I clearly remember following include Taiwan's 2008 presidential election, the Malaysian "tsunami" election in 2009, last year's Indonesia and Phillipines' presidential elections and not to mention when Barack Obama contested as president.

Now, my beloved country Singapore, will see its citizens head to the polls tomorrow. Time really flies, I used to think when will it be Singapore's turn to have some elections news in international press like Reuters.

Hope the title of all newspapers' headline news would be "Change has come for Singapore" on Sunday morning.

Let me be a bit random here after days of watching the intense campaigning. Congratulations to Jang Geun Suk and SNSD for acheiving the first and second spots respectively in Japan's Oricon chart.

It is ironic that Korean singer are dominating their neighbouring country's music charts when they do not even speak the language. It is even more ironic that Jang Geun Suk's new Japanese song is called "Let Me Cry" when he should be laughing all the way after selling so many albums!

Very intersting election

This is definitely a very interesting election to watch because

1. So many PAP ministers have cried during the campaigning period.

2. So many high-calibre people have chosen to join the opposition

3. So much creativity from the PAP's election strategy. From smear campaigns to utilizing the state media to apologizing half-heartedly and to the extent of having a local celebrity blogger endorse Aljunied GRC candidate George Yeo.

4. PAP using Facebook to engage netizens. An ultra-failed plan. Definitely not Lee Hsien Loong's idea, might be the over-ambitious Teo Ser Luck's plan.

5. Finally, as parties rebutt and criticize other parties at rallies and via the media, commoners also do it with their friends at work, on the bus or when eating.

Tomorrow, is cooling-off day. I really wonder what the heck is there to cool. They should at least make it a public holiday. How do you expect people to cool down when they are busy at work?

Lee Hsien Loong on Facebook

 

Taken from PAP's Facebook page

Hi, I'm Lee Hsien Loong

Welcome to my webchat!
This is my first time doing this
So please dont flame me, I'm a newbie :-)
I see many of you are interested in how we can engage youths more
Shall we start with this?

I decided to "like" PAP on Facebook just so that I can webchat with the Prime Minister. However at the rate of comments flooding in (100 comments per 100 seconds), I doubt he will be able to reply me. I must say it's a good attempt by Mr Lee but we would prefer if you can have a live television debate with other political parties.

Non-PAP cabinet

I thought of doing something avant-garde and decided to write this post about how a cabinet without any PAP member would look like (in the event that all PAP candidates lose).

It definitely does not look "freaky" although PAP ministers claim that it will be a freak result should opposition parties win.

Prime Minister: Chee Soon Juan (SDP)

Ok, I know what you are thinking. This guy has entered and exited the prison more times than I did at the East Coast Park toilet. However, they were all politically-linked.

The PAP ruled Singapore with an iron grip, trying to destroy their political opponents. The stronger they appear to be, the larger the damage was done to them.

Dr Chee is a liberal democrat who will lead the country to new heights while taking care of the needs of the lowest levels of society.

The Lees have done fairly well in terms of the economy and infrastructure. Chee will add to by improving the country socially, politically and democratically.

Deputy Prime Minister and Finance Minister: Kenneth Jeyaretnam (RP)

KJ graduated with Double First Class Honours in economics from Cambridge University. He is the man most suited for this post among all the opposition candidates.

It will be a marvellous achievement for him and his father, the late Joshua Benjamin Jeyaretnam, who has been the enemy of PAP for many years.

Senior Minister: Chiam See Tong (SPP)

As the name says it, we need somebody who is ernm, a senior citizen? Mr Chiam has lots of valuable experience as an MP since 1984.

His job would be to assist the younger generation and ensure that nothing too conservative or liberal be implemented. However, it appears to be seen who will succeed him in the near future.

Foreign Affairs Minister: George Yeo (unknown)

Why not him? Yes, he is from PAP but he can always be pulled over to join another party and continue to serve the country as the minister of foreign affairs.

I suggest Mr Yeo to join WP and the latter should sent an invitation to him since they are the ones that beat him in Aljunied GRC.

The only difference is that he may have to take a massive pay cut from his original million-dollar salary.

Defence Minister: Tony Tan (NSP)

Tony is a former SAF scholar who studied Engineering at Cambridge University. A strong, firm and decisive person, he is easily the man for this challenging job.

He also mentioned about reducing national service to twelve months which would be very much welcomed by many citizens.

Trade and Industry Minister: Tan Jee Say (SDP)

An investment adviser who studied at Oxford University. His has years of experience in civil service as well the private sector. Used to be a civil servant in ministry of trade and industry before too.

Health Minister: Ang Yong Guan (SDP)

A psychiatrist leading this ministry would be a brand new change for our healthcare system. The mental state of Singaporeans ought to be improved after decades of brainwashing by the PAP.

Law Minister: Chen Show Mao (WP)

A Rhodes scholar whose education background includes Oxford, Stanford and Harvard. An experienced lawyer who is a partner of well-known law firm Davis Polk & Wardwell.

There are a bunch of lawyers hailing from the opposition camp but Mr Chen everybody else hands down. Hope he can review and reform Singapore's mandatory death penalty.

Home Affairs Minister: Sylvia Lim (WP)

An ex-inspector in the police force, Sylvia should be able to comprehend the structure well. At least, she can ensure that all detention centres are secure to prevent any escapes.

Manpower Minister: Low Thia Kiang (WP)

Mr Low can work closely with Tan Jee Say to increase productivity for Singaporean workers instead of relying on foreigners which is not a sustainable solution.

A minimum wage policy should be implemented for the overall good of the labour force here.

National Development Minister: Goh Meng Seng (NSP)

Mr Goh, an economics graduate, is a good alternative to the ineffective Mah Bow Tan for housing issues. He and his party have proposed some good policies which are able to address the issues citizens face regarding public housing.

Community, Youth and Sports Minister: Vincent Wijeysingha (SDP)

A social activist and a rare breed of politicians who are willing to serve the people wholeheartedly. The low-waged and poor can finally see hope with him holding this post.

Definitely ten times better than the current PAP one who overspends but never apologize.

Actually, there are still a few more ministries which I have not mentioned but there is still ample quality within the opposition to fill the voids, it's just that I think they are still not the finished product to be labelled as a minister.

Vote for the opposition, the time to change has arrived!

Then what about me?

You can be minister of erm, I don't know what to say

GE 2011 predictions part 3

This is the third and final part of the three-part series on predicting the results of the 2011 general elections. Today, I will discuss the remaining nine GRCs which are contested. I almost had to include Tanjong Pagar if not because of 35 seconds.

Holland-Bukit Timah

PAP vs SDP

If Aljunied GRC is the most exciting battle to watch, then this one is definitely the runner-up. The opposition consists of a PhD holder, a former government official, a well-known doctor and an educator. Such a team is strong enough to rival any PAP side on paper.

The SDP team also consists of three candidates who have ministerial potential (should the opposition topple PAP). Vivian Balakrishnan leads a relatively weaker team which includes two first-term MPs, a new candidate, all three without any experience in fighting an electoral battle.

If the opposition can step up and convince voters in the next few days, I don't see why they cannot put the sword into Vivian's throat and end the minister-whom-overspent-at-the-YOG's political career.

Final score: PAP 44%-56% SDP

Jurong

PAP vs NSP

The battle of the unknowns. Only Tharman Shanmugaratnam's name catches my attention when I looked at the list of candidates standing in this ward. NSP are just having some fun here, they would be happy if they can secure 45% of the votes.

Sadly, that is only a dream, Reality is that this opposition team is not strong enough to make the swing voters support them. Idealistic they may be but absolutely not realistic.

Jurong GRC has always seen dull contests so the result should not be an unexpected one. NSP has already lost half the battle before war is declared.

Final score: PAP 64%-36% NSP


Marine Parade

PAP vs NSP

I promised to be unbiased but I can't help but think that Goh Chok Tong and co. will end up as the losers here. The NSP team are a competent side which includes the popular "female general" Nicole Seah.

Moreover, the PAP team has the legendary Tin Pei Ling in it. This is bound to cost them a considerable amount of votes as many people are opposed to having such a low-quality MP whose biggest regret is not bringing her parents to Universal Studios.

Pei Ling's fellow newcomer, Tan Chuan Jin appears to be too cocky and arrogant. He speaks as if he will definitely win when he is just hitching a ride from SM Goh. I foresee that if PAP wins this one, there will be a public protest to stop Tin Pei Ling from entering parliament.

NSP should play the man-to-man attacks like what PAP is so fond of doing. Attack the two newcomers of PAP and hope that the neutral voters will agree with what they say. This would be the closest fight of all.

Final score: PAP 49%-51% NSP


Moulmein-Kallang

PAP vs WP

Low Thia Khiang was tipped to contest in this GRC. Without him, the WP team looks a par below to the PAP where half of the squad are ministers.

Voters here are likely to opt for stability by voting for PAP. Grassroots leaders will play an important part in helping the PAP to publicize.

WP's intention of standing here is just to give voters a choice. Voters are happy with the opportunity to vote but I bet they won't give WP much face.

Final score: PAP 55%-45% WP

Nee Soon

Led by John Yam, this WP team is at three times better than the one at Moulmein-Kallang. The PAP team is headed by Law Minister K.Shanmugam and it would be a tough fight for both parties.

PAP would be sweating over this one but they should be able to emerge victorious at the end of the day. It appears to be seen how much of a gap will the two parties have in terms of votes.

As minister of law, there seems to be nothing much that Shanmugam can be attacked about. So the topics here would be mainly on bread and butter issues.

Final score: PAP 53%-47% WP


Pasir Ris-Punggol

PAP vs SDA

Teo Chee Hean and co. beat the SDA by 27.4% of votes in the last elections. This time, they face the same opponent but expect the result to be slightly different.

The main man from the opposition here is Harminder Pal Singh. He was eloquent and makes some good points during his party's election rallies. However, the SDA of today pales in comparison to the one five years ago.

The alliance have been weakened by the absence of NSP and SPP. Also, Goh Kim Seng has pulled out of the team at the eleventh hour, further softening the team.

I hate Janil Puthucheary in the PAP side but I have to make do with seeing him becoming an MP when he has not even served National Service and "boasts" that his NS is saving kids' lives.

Final score: PAP 55%-45% SDA

Sembawang

PAP vs SDP

The main man here is definitely Khaw Boon Wan who is also minister of health. His four other teammates are just there to fill in the voids. On the other hand, the SDP consists of a wide variety of candidates.

James Gomez and John Tan, both academics, will spearhead SDP's attack in this ward. Gomez should be able to defeat the PAP if he can brainwash enough neutral voters to believe that PAP is hypothetical.

Mind games will be the pivotal factor here. Judging from the response in this area, Khaw Boon Wan might need to get ready to pack his bags for Johor Bahru.

Final score: PAP 47%-53% SDP


Tampines

PAP vs NSP

Nothing much to discuss here, except that Mah Bow Tan will lose lots of votes because of his screw-up of the housing system. NSP just need to harp on this issue throughout the entire campaign.

The interesting part would be how many votes will Mah lose and are they enough to give NSP a victory here? Goh Meng Seng and co. should also talk about the facilities here since there is still much room for improvement in this GRC.

Final score: PAP 48%-52% NSP

West Coast

PAP vs RP

At last, it is my constituency. Unlike the suicide squad at Ang Mo Kio, this RP team is more credible and sincere. It includes Andy Zhu and Kenneth Jeyaretnam, the chairman and secretary-general of the party.

None of the five PAP candidates here are worth mentioning. Lim Hng Kiang is simply the worst minister in the cabinet. There is also my former MP, Arthur Fong who is just a useless fake ang moh.

The PAP team alos consists of the controversial Foo Mee Har and picked-from-the-public-sector Lawrence Wong. While the former looks like Amy Khor No. 2 who only talks and talks, the latter is just a yesman in parliament.

RP are very sincere in winning this GRC. It is their first electoral battle anyway and they hope to end it with something won. I hope people can feel their sincerity and give them their support.

PAP only cares for you when elections are coming.

Final score: PAP 48%-52% RP

And there, I have finished predicting the results of all 26 constituencies. Now, we'll just have to wait for polling day to see how right or wrong am I.

Oh, and here is an interesting picture to share with you all.

GE 2011 predictions part 2

This is the second of the three-part series where I predict the outcome of the 2011 general elections. I will cover ten constituencies today, four remaining SMCs and five GRCs.

Radin Mas

Sam Tan (PAP) vs Yip Yew Weng (NSP)

A newly carved-out ward at this year's elections. At one time, this SMC looked as though it was going to have a messy five-cornered fight. It is easy to comprehend why so many parties want to contest here.

Sam Tan is a one-term MP with no experience in campaigning. Moreover, the residents there have not cast a vote for a long time so there is no reason why there won't be a backlash against the PAP.

Yip Yew Weng looks like the ideal guy here. He is well-educated, is a political veteran and speaks a variety of dialects. The people there are mostly the elderly hence, Mr Yip should be able to click with them easily.

However, don't forget that since they are the elderly, they would still stability by voting PAP. PAP can win this one if they make the effort to brainwash enough neutral voters from the older generation.

Final score: PAP 57%-43% NSP

Sengkang West

Lam Pin Min (PAP) vs Koh Choong Yong (WP)

This seat is definitely not one of WP's priorities. You rarely hear news about opposition in this area. PAP to win this one comfortably.

Koh Choong Yong claims that he has lived in this ward for a decade. That does not necessarily mean that those ten years are of public service.

Higher frequency of public transport arrivals is one important issue here. Both candidates will, no doubt, address it if elected. Therefore, PAP can win this one without much complication.

Final score: PAP 60%-40% WP

Whampoa

Heng Chee How (PAP) vs Ken Sun (NSP)

Again, PAP have the upper hand in this ward because they have been the representative here. Heng Chee How has done a fairly decent job as an MP, something commendable since he is from PAP.

Ken Sun and his party gives people the impression that they are there just for the sake of joining in the election fun. He looks more like somebody whom will find fault with the government instead of taking care of his residents or proposing new ideas.

PAP licks this one up without moving its head.

Final score: PAP 69%-31% NSP

Yuhua

Grace Fu (PAP) vs Teo Soh Lung (SDP)

At one of SDP's rallies, Teo Soh Lung said "My PAP opponent is the senior minister of state for education. What has she done for Singapore?"

I tried my best to come up with an answer but sorry I will have to use Tin Pei Ling's infamous trademark. I don't know what to say.

Miss Teo was only introduced as the candidate for this SMC rather late. It was widely expected that her party colleague, Jaslyn Go, was the woman who will challenge Grace Fu. It doesn't really matter which woman was chosen because both carry the party's flag.

Grace Fu has been rather disgraceful as a senior minister of state. She is not cut out to be an office-holder. Neither is she capable of serving her people effectively. SDP must make full use of the remaining campaigning period since Miss Teo might still appear "new" to voters.

Final score: PAP 45%-55% SDP

And now, on to the GRCs. I don't see a need to introduce all of the candidates in the team since only a couple of people in a side are the main players.

Aljunied

PAP vs WP

According to the mainstream media, this is labelled as the biggest battle in this election. Accordingly to me, this is the Singapore political version of the El Clasico. WP's Barcelona squad taking on the Real Madrid team of PAP (all-white).

This WP team includes Low Thia Khaing, a counsellor, a postgraduate law student, a corporate lawyer and a law lecturer.

There are fears that George Yeo of PAP might lose his post as minister if the opposition were to win. I believe that Aljunied voters understand that losing a minister is not the end of the world for Singapore.

Even Low Thia Khiang has decided to venture out of his comfort zone in a bid to gun down a GRC. How can people not give him face and vote for change?

Final score: PAP 46%-54% WP

Ang Mo Kio

PAP vs RP

Finally, I get to mention RP but there won't be much to talk about about them. This RP team at AMK GRC is basically a suicide squad although they claim they aren't. PM Lee should win at least 65% of the votes to consider it as a real victory.

I think he won't since PAP has allowed so many foreigners into the country for the past five years.

Final score: PAP 63%-36% RP

Bishan-Toa Payoh

This is another interesting battle to watch since it features opposition veteran, Chiam See Tong. Mr Chiam's decision to move out of Potong Pasir appears to be a big gamble as SPP still looks a little shaky at the moment.

If the entire nation were to vote, I believe PAP will lose since there is Wong Kan Seng aka the man responsible for Mas Selamat's escape. Mr Wong still has a strong support base in this area because of his long track record.

I hate Josephine Teo from the PAP team. She is one who talks without thinking but sadly she will still continue to be an MP after this election.

Final score: PAP 55%-45% SPP

Chua Chu Kang

PAP vs NSP

The CCK team of NSP consists of scholarship couple, Tony Tan and Hazel Poa. It also has NSP's chairman, Sebastian Teo, but he looks more like a supporting role in the team.

PAP is led by Minister of Manpower, Gan Kim Yong. Not a very strong team in my opinion, none of the other four PAP candidates ring a bell in me. PAP needs to depend heavily on brainwashing to win votes.

NSP, with the help of Tony Tan, should be able to pull off a remarkable victory by winning this GRC. A close fight looks highly possible.

Final score: PAP 47%-53% NSP

East Coast

PAP vs WP

PAP are favourites to to win this one. They have a strong team which consists of Raymond Lim and Lim Swee Say. Not to mention Lee Yi Shyan and Maliki Osman.

On the other hand, WP only has Eric Tan while Gerald Giam is a potential star in the making. The rest are just there to make up the numbers. That is why GRCs were implemented, to help PAP win.

Not much of a chance for the opposition here, PAP deserves to beat them fair and square.

Final score: PAP 60%-40% WP