CNY and V Day

Chinese New Year falls on the same day as Valentine's Day this year. So well you know like, these are some things which might happen (some really happened) during the festive season. Please continue reading to find out more

Teacher and student
Teacher: Chinese New Year is coming
Raymond: cher, we go your house lah?!
Teacher(laughing): oh you want angbao is it?
Raymond(thinking): abu then? just testing you only to see your reaction
Teacher never answered yes or no but the answer is obvious

Raymond and the flower stall owner
Raymond: so what kind of flowers are more "hot" this time?
Owner: both type also hot but Valentine one easier to sell
Raymond: aiyah of course lah, valentine one only a few stalks, CNY one is one pot leh!

Romeo and Juliet
Juliet: oh Romeo, shall we celebrate Lunar New Year this year together with the annual Valentine?
Romeo: huh? we are ang moh ok? we celebrate new year on 1st January leh
Juliet: but we should be multi-racial, multi-cultural...
Romeo: this is Italy, not Singapore. Our elopement to Singapore made you become so local ah?
Juliet: you then local, you are speaking Singlish

Beng vs. Seng
Ah Beng: eh want go casino for CNY this year?
Ah Seng: aiyoh, play underground can already lah, easier and more economical. And we don't have nice shirts anyway. And and we got no zhar bor accompany also

Music CD shop war
Shop A: dong dong dong chiang, dong dong dong chiang...
Shop B: when I fall in love, it will be forever...
Shop A: gong xi ah gong xi, fa ya fa da cai
Shop B: or I'll never fall in love
Shop A oldies plus Shop B punkies: eh diam lah!

Dinner tonight
Xiao Ming: eh I think we'll have to eat fast food for tonight's candlelight dinner
Xiao Mei: why?
Xiao Ming: cos all the stalls are closed on CNY

Reality
Principal sends an email to Group-everyone: Everyone, teacher or student, will receive an angbao from the school as a celebration for Chinese New Year
Raymond replies to all: wait long long lah

A thief's dilemma
Thief A: hmmm, its high time we return to the pickpocketing arena to fill my stomach
Thief B: then where should we go this time? The crowded Chinatown with many targets or the quiet and deserted Labrador Park?

Husband and Wife
Husband: see? I've got you the biggest bouquet this year
Wife (thinking that it's nine-nine-nine roses): oh really?
Husband: here, a big pot of chrysanthemum flowers, it symbolizes longevity!
Wife: ...

Raymond again
Raymond: oh Febuary 14 is also V Day, I almost forgotten about it. Aiyah, CNY more important, got money to receive, V Day must spend money only, burn a hole in my pocket
Random guy: lucky CNY with V Day, at least I can use the angbao money to cover back my losses on that posh restaurant I brought my zhar bor to

A girl's problem
Girl A: should I wear the red qipao for my granny to see or the black gown for him to look at?
Girl B: just remember to wear red underwear can already

Nerd and his nerdy stuff
The nerd: While celebrating the first day of CNY and V Day, we should forget that the day after, Feb 15, is Total Defence Day

*Takes a deep breath*

The nerd: Total Defence Day is actually to...
Majority: shuddup lah!

Happy (advanced) Chinese New Year and Valentine's Day to everyone!