Friday, November 30, 2012

Cassis Berries




Forget about pomegranate, cranberry or grapefruit. Year after year, a new "king of fruits" emerges. Today, I would like to introduce you to this relatively unknown superfruit, the cassis berry.

Cassis berries are dark purple in colour and it is said to be originated from United Kingdom. I am highly doubtful that this fruit is sold in Singapore as I have yet to see it in the market.

You might ask, what are the benefits of cassis berries that made it earn the title of king? Firstly, they contain great amounts of vitamin A, B and C and its vitamin C value is three times more than the ubiquitous orange.

Not enough? This fruit possesses magnesium, iron, potassium, phosphorous, zinc and even calcium! (maybe only the broccoli can rival it). The antioxidants in it also slow down the development of wrinkles. Eating cassis berries also helps regenerate your body's immunity system.

The berry is also advantageous to one's eyes as it prevents cataract, a rather common disease associated with the eye. Definitely a worthy alternative to the good old carrots.

Cassis berry is still spreading in both the America continents and I predict that it will take at least a year before it starts to gain popularity on the other side of the Pacific. When it starts appearing in Singapore, don't forget to grab a bunch and eat well like a king.

Thursday, November 29, 2012

Counter Strike




Dear Boss

I am writing this email to keep you updated on the latest happenings in the company while you are on holiday.

Three days ago, something shocking occurred. A total of 171 (please ignore the finance department's email to you which incorrectly stated 102 as the staff there are always messing up with numbers and causing themselves to work overtime) factory workers went on an illegal strike.

As a result, production slowed down by a whopping twenty percent although we told the press that it was only five. But fret not as we managed to hire some temp staff by placing ads in the papers. And of course, we didn't state the company name in the ads.

According to those who had nothing much to do and were tasked to head down and talk to the workers, it said that wages was the main issue. All 171 workers hail from great grand China, the place where we have been constantly importing our staff from.

These China workers are fed up that they are not paid as much as their local and Malaysian counterpart although everyone does the same job and works hard. Reporters have been harassing us for the past few days and the issue has yet to be resolved.

Please advise.

Ang Kat Ball
Vice-President

***

Dear Ang

This so-called shocking thing is just a mole out of a mountain.

Firstly, the China workers need to acknowledge that local and Malaysian employees are a par above them. Are they able to speak Singlish? Are they comfortable eating curry served at the company's canteen? Can they contribute to a more peaceful working environment?

I considered a lot of factors before giving the green light to hire China workers. Unlike locals, they are cheaper and there's a reason behind everything. Now, they dare come and demand for more?

Well, if that's the case. Then we should Review their salaries and increase it. Ever since the election last year, I have not witness any bravery in the country. We need brave people to move the company forward and for that we need to provide them market-competitive wages to retain them.

CEO

***

Dear Boss

But our corporate communications manager has already informed the press that legal action will be taken against the workers as the law implies that one has to give 14 days’ notice before he or she can go on a strike.

Anyway, no action has been taken against the workers so far. We are still waiting for the China embassy's command and monitoring the comments on Chinese websites as we cannot afford to offend great grand China.

Ang Kat Ball

***

Dear Ang

Where is your sense of judgement? How can we mention about that ridiculous 14-day law even though it does exist? A strike needs an approval? What if it's not approved? The law may be nonsense but the company doesn't have to be associated with such bullshit.

However, well done for not taking any action. We certainly cannot afford to lose these foreign talents. They are cheap and good although they make a lot of noise in the factory and refuse to eat the awesome mutton curry served at our canteen.

I will be coming back in two days' time. In the meantime, the best short-term solution would be do get three to four "leaders of the strike" to "get arrested" and "assist the police in investigations" while we await China side's reply. Remember to compensate them well when they are freed.

CEO

***

Dear Boss

I noted your previous email.

Now, we have another problem to deal with. A research firm by the name of Mud Water has produced a 113-page report which claims that our company is financially unstable and on the brink of collapse.

Our stock price has plunged significantly since the mud-slinging started yesterday.

Ang Kat Ball

***

Shit. I'll be back this evening. Help me arrange for a press conference, I am going to give that Block a piece of my mind.

Wednesday, November 28, 2012

Ex Wallaby round-up: 3D


This entry is titled 3D not because something will pop out (not talking about The Ring) of your screen but 3D just sounds so "in". 3D here, 3D there. So I assume that anything which has a 3 should include a D too. Makes sense?

Six weeks came and went in a swift. However, I felt that the time spent wearing army fatigues in Australia was much more fulfilling than boring Singapore. I got to know more people and know them better. In short, there is no doubt many positives that made my stay there worthwhile.

Let's skip all the way to my final 2 days where I had my ETP (end of tour package). To summarize things, everything about it except the buffet meals sucks. I swear I gained a substantial amount of weight after having five buffets in a span of 36 hours. If you know me, you would know that I'm not the kind who only goes for a single round, so are Singaporeans.

At every buffet, you will get to witness authentic Singaporean style from Singaporeans when there are freebies in front of them. The Singapore style that I am referring to is not just about taking a lot but taking a lot and not considering whether you can finish everything.

It is common at every meal to see the ang moh staff giving surprised expressions while we Singaporeans take our time to overload our plates. This applies to the drinks as well, we check out all kinds of coffee and tea available and leave a mess behind.

In my opinion, the biggest and most conspicuous difference between Singapore and Australia is not the amount of obese people (although that's quite obvious too) but the customer experience which both countries provide.

In Australia, the ang mohs as well as the ang moh pai Asians will greet you with sincerity and attempt to make small talk throughout your time inside. Move over to Singapore and you'll perhaps get some China woman who will stare at you thinking that it's just another passer-by.

Singapore shoppers are more of people who walk into a shop and take something from it in exchange of money. Australia shoppers are customers who contribute to a business by purchasing a good or service from it. I don't deny that I felt a little uneasy as a customer when I first returned to Singapore.

Oh yeah, enough of all the crap, where are the pictures you might ask. I shall start spamming them from here. Hope you take some time to scroll the page down. Remember, patience is a virtue.



 ***


 Now I know where the word coward comes from. These guys started fleeing when I took out the camera.

 
Wasted 20 minutes of my life making this. I could have done something more constructive like sleeping.

Water lah, what else you thought I'd write? The sea is SO CLEAR or I LOVE the ocean?

Jellyfish. Dead. Not I kill. Its corpse looks beautiful


The resort where we lived at during ETP.

Yes yes, this is how our accomodation in camp looks like.

You can't see my eyes.

I shall call this the Australian bird hairstyle.

 Flying back to Singapore on SIA for the first time!!! Sua Ku to the max!!! I don't understand why can't they include spaces in my name

Tuesday, November 27, 2012

Ex Wallaby round-up: Part 2

The journey from the airport to camp lasted slightly more than an hour.

Eddie Murphy's The Nutty Professor was screened in an effort to keep us entertained when all we wanted to do was sleep. I got double the damage because the speaker was directly above where I was seated. I spent half the time watching an oversized Eddie Murphy and the other half staring out of the window. Oh yeah, and out of the window was just pitch black since the roads there were deserted. There was hardly any building, light or vehicle during the journey.

I wondered how the driver managed to navigate his way in such dark surroundings, maybe they are used to it already. It was almost midnight when we reached camp. Lights in tentages were already off. There was hardly anyone around except for the few who were there to arrive us.

It was my first time experiencing such cold temperatures. I vividly remember myself dragging (as it was still sealed up in a plastic bag) my luggage and bearing the hardship of getting froze while walking towards the place that I am supposed to meet my superior.

The night snack for my very first night there was red bean soup and lamington, a kind of cake coated in chocolate and coconut. Eating both sort of calmed me down in the chilly weather. The moment I tasted lamington for the first time, I was sure that it's going to be one of my favourite Aussie food.

It was close to one in the morning when I finally settled down and unpacked my stuff. Slept for five hours before the blazing sunlight pierced through the tentage and my eyelids to wake me up. It doesn't matter if you don't have an alarm clock in Australia because dawn breaks at 5am. Yes, and the sun sets earlier as well, approximately 6:30pm.

I remember writing in a previous post that I couldn't tolerate the hot water flowing out of the taps during the first few days and especially the first night. Thinking back, I realized that hot water was actually quite my liking. Now, I feel bored when I wash my hands in Singapore. No excitement.

 Random picture here so that this post is not an all-word entry. Can you tell what is what?

Due to the fact that the army's intelligence unit might come across my blog and scrutinize every detail of it to see if I disclosed any bit of information (they call it secrets) about the military, I will not mention anything which is directly or indirectly linked to my job at Exercise Wallaby.

However, there are still things which are worth mentioning when I was outfield. One of them was the wildlife. When I say wildlife, I mean the animals plus insects. How can I not talk about the insects when they are always bothering (entertaining) me every day?

Unlike the usual black, red and occasional termites you see here, Aussie ants come in a variety. For me, there was all-black, black-white, red, golden and purple. Once when I had spare time, I placed an ant from each of the five types into a plastic cup, sealed it up with plastic and watched the show take place.

I was certain that the purple ant would emerge victorious as this type of ant could swim in water. It was proven to me when I accidentally splashed water onto an area of purple ants. However, the plump-looking black-white ant entered aggressive mode and started fighting with the purple one when I was placed it in. The other three were busy trying to escape (to no avail).

I got bored of seeing the same thing happening in front of my eyes for fifteen minutes and decided to do something else. I left the cup aside and went back to take a look after a couple of hours only to realize that the purple ant had miraculously escaped and the black-white ant was fighting someone else.

All the ants were missing when I checked the cup the next day. I realized that the cup was not sealed tight enough.

Animals such as kangaroos, cows, rats and possums made my stay in Australia an interesting one. Possums will come ransacking our food in the middle of the night, disturbing your sleep in the process. I got so fed up one night that I attached my swiss knife to a rolled-up cardboard to throw it like a javelin.

Fortunately for that possum, it fled away at the nick of time before I flicked my wrist. The thing about them which boiled my anger was not causing disturbance to my sleep but it simply couldn't be bothered even when we switched on the lights and stared at it. The possum would just continue eating as if the humans around it were invisible.

Kangaroos were also a nuisance there, at least for those who drive. They would pop up from nowhere and hop across the road even when a vehicle is fast approaching them. The worst part is that they hop at a monotonous speed in a repetitive manner, something similar to a Chinese zombie.

This post is getting too monotonous (due to a lack of pictures and chunks of text) like a kangaroo hopping so I shall stop here. Look forward to part three tomorrow.

Monday, November 26, 2012

Ex Wallaby round-up: Part 1

Hey readers! I've missed you guys, it's been too long. I am glad to be back in Singapore and I bring back with me lots of memories and stories to share.

I tried my best to include as many pictures as possible to fully describe my experience in Australia. Don't worry; it is of a moderate amount unlike other bloggers who conveniently spam photos in one entry and make the poor readers scroll down hastily until some text is seen.

In case you are still unaware, this happens to be the first time I am travelling out of my beloved Singapore. It is also the first time that I am (so sua key) taking a plane. Also for the first time, experiencing cold weather, something which can't be done in humid Singapore.

Like the company, the boarding pass hardly looks impressive

So, some 6 weeks ago, I boarded a Malaysian Airlines aircraft. Truth is, I almost had trouble boarding it because the lady at the first checkpoint said I had two spanners in my bag. However, "spanner" was not mentioned during the second and final inspection at the departure hall so the tools flew with me anyway.

The plane was only three-quarters full and since it was a chartered flight, all the passengers were your "own people". I decided to move all the way to the last row since the back was relatively empty. Many from my unit did the same and we sort of conquered the back of the plane.

For a company like MAS, I think it scored fairly well in terms of its service and meals. The pillow was so comfortable that I ended up trying to force two of them inside my bag. In the end, I only managed to squeeze one in. Later on, I was shocked to discover that I wasn't the only one who did that.

The best thing about sitting at the back is that nobody knows that you took pictures of their legs

The only thing that could be improved on is the in-flight entertainment. Unlike SIA which has a dedicated screen for every passenger, MAS broadcasts its shows on pathetically small TVs for all to watch. Those seated in the last row like me will only end up as victims of eye strain.

Approximately an hour before touchdown, the pilot announced that the temperature in Rockhampton, our destination, was twenty degrees Celsius. The moment I heard the number 20, my mind went blank. I was already freezing on the plane and still had to undergo more coldness when I step out of it.

It was 9:30pm local time and I had to endure the cold temperatures at Rockhampton Airport as I didn’t have a jacket or sweater. We were wasting a lot time at the airport after alighting as there were only two immigration officers present to facilitate our arrival. And believe or not, there was only one plane and one flight in the whole airport that night. What a boring place.

After all the waiting, we collected our luggage and proceeded to board the coach which transported us to a place far away from civilisation, the place where we will be spending the next 30-odd days at, the place which consists of rocks, sand, trees, never-ending roads and countless of landforms that stretch above the surrounding terrain.

When I was arrived at the airport, it still didn't feel like I was away from Singapore. The people around me were Singaporeans; the toilet looked quite Singapore plus a bit cleaner. Even the coach whom I boarded felt familiar as the driver's seat is also on the right.

It was until the vehicle started moving and passed by other vehicles that I changed my mindset. The moment I realized that the plate numbers of vehicles looked different; I finally realized that I was out of Singapore, away from home, for the first time in my life, for the next forty days.

OMG, how am I gonna survive it? Find out in Part 2 tomorrow.

My $0.02 worth on NS

So it's down to eighteen days. Eighteen more days as a full-time national serviceman, eighteen more days before I am discharged from th...