Ex Wallaby round-up: 3D

This entry is titled 3D not because something will pop out (not talking about The Ring) of your screen but 3D just sounds so "in". 3D here, 3D there. So I assume that anything which has a 3 should include a D too. Makes sense?

Six weeks came and went in a swift. However, I felt that the time spent wearing army fatigues in Australia was much more fulfilling than boring Singapore. I got to know more people and know them better. In short, there is no doubt many positives that made my stay there worthwhile.

Let's skip all the way to my final 2 days where I had my ETP (end of tour package). To summarize things, everything about it except the buffet meals sucks. I swear I gained a substantial amount of weight after having five buffets in a span of 36 hours. If you know me, you would know that I'm not the kind who only goes for a single round, so are Singaporeans.

At every buffet, you will get to witness authentic Singaporean style from Singaporeans when there are freebies in front of them. The Singapore style that I am referring to is not just about taking a lot but taking a lot and not considering whether you can finish everything.

It is common at every meal to see the ang moh staff giving surprised expressions while we Singaporeans take our time to overload our plates. This applies to the drinks as well, we check out all kinds of coffee and tea available and leave a mess behind.

In my opinion, the biggest and most conspicuous difference between Singapore and Australia is not the amount of obese people (although that's quite obvious too) but the customer experience which both countries provide.

In Australia, the ang mohs as well as the ang moh pai Asians will greet you with sincerity and attempt to make small talk throughout your time inside. Move over to Singapore and you'll perhaps get some China woman who will stare at you thinking that it's just another passer-by.

Singapore shoppers are more of people who walk into a shop and take something from it in exchange of money. Australia shoppers are customers who contribute to a business by purchasing a good or service from it. I don't deny that I felt a little uneasy as a customer when I first returned to Singapore.

Oh yeah, enough of all the crap, where are the pictures you might ask. I shall start spamming them from here. Hope you take some time to scroll the page down. Remember, patience is a virtue.

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 Now I know where the word coward comes from. These guys started fleeing when I took out the camera.

 

Wasted 20 minutes of my life making this. I could have done something more constructive like sleeping.

Water lah, what else you thought I'd write? The sea is SO CLEAR or I LOVE the ocean?

Jellyfish. Dead. Not I kill. Its corpse looks beautiful

The resort where we lived at during ETP.

Yes yes, this is how our accomodation in camp looks like.

You can't see my eyes.

I shall call this the Australian bird hairstyle.

 Flying back to Singapore on SIA for the first time!!! Sua Ku to the max!!! I don't understand why can't they include spaces in my name

Ex Wallaby round-up: Part 2

The journey from the airport to camp lasted slightly more than an hour.

Eddie Murphy's The Nutty Professor was screened in an effort to keep us entertained when all we wanted to do was sleep. I got double the damage because the speaker was directly above where I was seated. I spent half the time watching an oversized Eddie Murphy and the other half staring out of the window. Oh yeah, and out of the window was just pitch black since the roads there were deserted. There was hardly any building, light or vehicle during the journey.

I wondered how the driver managed to navigate his way in such dark surroundings, maybe they are used to it already. It was almost midnight when we reached camp. Lights in tentages were already off. There was hardly anyone around except for the few who were there to arrive us.

It was my first time experiencing such cold temperatures. I vividly remember myself dragging (as it was still sealed up in a plastic bag) my luggage and bearing the hardship of getting froze while walking towards the place that I am supposed to meet my superior.

The night snack for my very first night there was red bean soup and lamington, a kind of cake coated in chocolate and coconut. Eating both sort of calmed me down in the chilly weather. The moment I tasted lamington for the first time, I was sure that it's going to be one of my favourite Aussie food.

It was close to one in the morning when I finally settled down and unpacked my stuff. Slept for five hours before the blazing sunlight pierced through the tentage and my eyelids to wake me up. It doesn't matter if you don't have an alarm clock in Australia because dawn breaks at 5am. Yes, and the sun sets earlier as well, approximately 6:30pm.

I remember writing in a previous post that I couldn't tolerate the hot water flowing out of the taps during the first few days and especially the first night. Thinking back, I realized that hot water was actually quite my liking. Now, I feel bored when I wash my hands in Singapore. No excitement.

 Random picture here so that this post is not an all-word entry. Can you tell what is what?

Due to the fact that the army's intelligence unit might come across my blog and scrutinize every detail of it to see if I disclosed any bit of information (they call it secrets) about the military, I will not mention anything which is directly or indirectly linked to my job at Exercise Wallaby.

However, there are still things which are worth mentioning when I was outfield. One of them was the wildlife. When I say wildlife, I mean the animals plus insects. How can I not talk about the insects when they are always bothering (entertaining) me every day?

Unlike the usual black, red and occasional termites you see here, Aussie ants come in a variety. For me, there was all-black, black-white, red, golden and purple. Once when I had spare time, I placed an ant from each of the five types into a plastic cup, sealed it up with plastic and watched the show take place.

I was certain that the purple ant would emerge victorious as this type of ant could swim in water. It was proven to me when I accidentally splashed water onto an area of purple ants. However, the plump-looking black-white ant entered aggressive mode and started fighting with the purple one when I was placed it in. The other three were busy trying to escape (to no avail).

I got bored of seeing the same thing happening in front of my eyes for fifteen minutes and decided to do something else. I left the cup aside and went back to take a look after a couple of hours only to realize that the purple ant had miraculously escaped and the black-white ant was fighting someone else.

All the ants were missing when I checked the cup the next day. I realized that the cup was not sealed tight enough.

Animals such as kangaroos, cows, rats and possums made my stay in Australia an interesting one. Possums will come ransacking our food in the middle of the night, disturbing your sleep in the process. I got so fed up one night that I attached my swiss knife to a rolled-up cardboard to throw it like a javelin.

Fortunately for that possum, it fled away at the nick of time before I flicked my wrist. The thing about them which boiled my anger was not causing disturbance to my sleep but it simply couldn't be bothered even when we switched on the lights and stared at it. The possum would just continue eating as if the humans around it were invisible.

Kangaroos were also a nuisance there, at least for those who drive. They would pop up from nowhere and hop across the road even when a vehicle is fast approaching them. The worst part is that they hop at a monotonous speed in a repetitive manner, something similar to a Chinese zombie.

This post is getting too monotonous (due to a lack of pictures and chunks of text) like a kangaroo hopping so I shall stop here. Look forward to part three tomorrow.

Ex Wallaby round-up: Part 1

Hey readers! I've missed you guys, it's been too long. I am glad to be back in Singapore and I bring back with me lots of memories and stories to share.

I tried my best to include as many pictures as possible to fully describe my experience in Australia. Don't worry; it is of a moderate amount unlike other bloggers who conveniently spam photos in one entry and make the poor readers scroll down hastily until some text is seen.

In case you are still unaware, this happens to be the first time I am travelling out of my beloved Singapore. It is also the first time that I am (so sua key) taking a plane. Also for the first time, experiencing cold weather, something which can't be done in humid Singapore.

Like the company, the boarding pass hardly looks impressive

So, some 6 weeks ago, I boarded a Malaysian Airlines aircraft. Truth is, I almost had trouble boarding it because the lady at the first checkpoint said I had two spanners in my bag. However, "spanner" was not mentioned during the second and final inspection at the departure hall so the tools flew with me anyway.

The plane was only three-quarters full and since it was a chartered flight, all the passengers were your "own people". I decided to move all the way to the last row since the back was relatively empty. Many from my unit did the same and we sort of conquered the back of the plane.

For a company like MAS, I think it scored fairly well in terms of its service and meals. The pillow was so comfortable that I ended up trying to force two of them inside my bag. In the end, I only managed to squeeze one in. Later on, I was shocked to discover that I wasn't the only one who did that.

The best thing about sitting at the back is that nobody knows that you took pictures of their legs

The only thing that could be improved on is the in-flight entertainment. Unlike SIA which has a dedicated screen for every passenger, MAS broadcasts its shows on pathetically small TVs for all to watch. Those seated in the last row like me will only end up as victims of eye strain.

Approximately an hour before touchdown, the pilot announced that the temperature in Rockhampton, our destination, was twenty degrees Celsius. The moment I heard the number 20, my mind went blank. I was already freezing on the plane and still had to undergo more coldness when I step out of it.

It was 9:30pm local time and I had to endure the cold temperatures at Rockhampton Airport as I didn’t have a jacket or sweater. We were wasting a lot time at the airport after alighting as there were only two immigration officers present to facilitate our arrival. And believe or not, there was only one plane and one flight in the whole airport that night. What a boring place.

After all the waiting, we collected our luggage and proceeded to board the coach which transported us to a place far away from civilisation, the place where we will be spending the next 30-odd days at, the place which consists of rocks, sand, trees, never-ending roads and countless of landforms that stretch above the surrounding terrain.

When I was arrived at the airport, it still didn't feel like I was away from Singapore. The people around me were Singaporeans; the toilet looked quite Singapore plus a bit cleaner. Even the coach whom I boarded felt familiar as the driver's seat is also on the right.

It was until the vehicle started moving and passed by other vehicles that I changed my mindset. The moment I realized that the plate numbers of vehicles looked different; I finally realized that I was out of Singapore, away from home, for the first time in my life, for the next forty days.

OMG, how am I gonna survive it? Find out in Part 2 tomorrow.

Ex Wallaby: The Beginning

Greetings from Rockhampton!!! It's a cooling Sunday morning over here. There’s a drizzle approximately two hours ago, the first time that I experienced rain after two weeks in Australia. Due to the nature of my job and affiliation to the military, I guess it is not advisable for me to upload pictures of or share what I worked on in this overseas exercise.

Nonetheless, I will still talk about the non work-related stuff. The weather undergoes drastic changes throughout the day. You get to enjoy a cold breeze while enduring the scorching sun in the morning. It felt kind of bizarre to me during my first week here since one doesn't get such an experience in Singapore.

Afternoon, between one to four, is arguably the most punishing time of the day. It would be a magnificent feat if you are able to stay in your tentage during that period for more than ten minutes. The tentage is literally an oven (and I really mean it) that is capable of turning a bottle of iced water into warm liquid.

I bet only Africans will be able to endure such conditions.

At the stroke of four in the afternoon, temperatures start to drop and you would begin to see people jogging around the compound. Four to seven is the so-called perfect time in my opinion, neither hot nor cold. Any time after seven and things would start to chill.

I still recall the first night when I arrived at the camp. It was almost midnight and there I was, together with the rest, complaining about how freezing this place can be. Summer is around the corner (or maybe it's already here) and the last couple of nights weren't as cold as before.

For my first week here, I always thought that there was aircon in the tentage every night. There is a safari bed and a sleeping bag and everybody used the latter as their blankets. I had to put on gloves and socks before going to bed at first but have since eliminated them as I get more used to the environment.

The toilets here look decent except for the taps. Throughout the day, hot water, really really hot, flows out of the taps. So, it doesn't matter if you want to cool down in the afternoon or wash your face in the chilly morning, you only have hot water.

I couldn't tolerate the heat on my first night; it was burning my face and hands that I gave up after ten seconds. In the end, I went over to the showering area, where there are two taps for hot and cold water, and used the cold tap there.

As the days go by, I start to get acclimatized to the heat of the tap water. Although I still can't put my hands under the tap for more than three seconds, I am now able to brush teeth and wash my face easily. Wonder what will it feels like then when I turn on a tap back in Singapore.

The food here is awesome as compared to the standard of cookhouses in Singapore. Highlights of what I ate so far include lamb chop, assam fish, kiwi fruit and their scrambled eggs which I believe can rival McDonald’s.

The service by the cookhouse staff is also commendable as you will never get rejected if you ask for bigger portions. Sometimes, they would even put three drumsticks on your plate when you did not even utter a word. The fruits, especially the apples, taste uniquely different from what one usually munches on in Singapore.

We had a cohesion on Friday evening and there was buffet and bbq. Honestly, although I think that the veggie (luo han zai) was the best dish among all the meat there, the highlight of my dinner that day has got to be savouring crocodile and kangaroo meat for the first time in my life.

I had always wanted to have a taste of crocodile meat but never expected that I would actually try it out in a foreign country. It tasted exactly like chicken but slightly sweeter. If I was blindfolded while eating, I would guess that it's some sakura chicken.

As for kangaroo meat, never in my life had the thought of tasting it cross my mind. During its raw state, it looks similar to beef. Kangaroo meat has an exclusive taste that my tongue just can't explain to my brain. It doesn't feel strong like mutton yet tenderer than pork.

Overall, my first two weeks here have been rather positive. A lot of "first in my life" things occurred ever since I touched down in Australia. That's all for today, I shall post my updates when I have time again.

Countdown to Australia: 1 day

In exactly 24 hours' time, my glorious and honourable (at least to me) 21-year and six-month record will be broken. It is my first time going overseas, my first time taking an aeroplane, my first time being so high up in the sky. Oh yeah, I'm proud to be this sua ku.

There are many things which I won't be able to do in Singapore during this period of time. I'll have to check the US presidential election in Australia, won't be able to eat mee pok or roti prata, unless they have it there and of course, I probably don't have the chance and time to blog.

I always believed that Malaysia would definitely be the first country that I will travel to. If not, then it should be somewhere that is closer as well like Thailand or Indonesia. Australia? I swear I never thought that I would be going all the way to another continent for my first overseas trip.

Forty days is not long. I managed to survive on Pulau Tekong for 17 weeks. I am expecting to experience a culture shock upon arriving there as well as enduring awkwardness at times. But, it is the return flight on 24 November which I look forward to the most.

When I finally return to Singapore after six weeks, I reckon I will feel like a new person, continuing the script which I will be putting a pause to with effect from tomorrow morning.
See you again in six weeks! Bon voyage to myself.

American Presidents

As the date of the most-watched election in the world comes closer to us, news of Barack Obama versus Mitt Romney have been appearing in the media every day. Instead of analysing who will be the winner (obviously it's not that joker Romney right?), let's take a look at two previous presidents of the United States.

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Abraham Lincoln was elected to Congress in 1846.

John F. Kennedy was elected to Congress in 1946.

****

Abraham Lincoln was elected President in 1860.

John F. Kennedy was elected President in 1960.

***

The names Lincoln and Kennedy each contain seven letters.

Both were particularly concerned with civil rights.

Both their wives lost their children while living in the White House.

Both Presidents were shot on a Friday.

Both were shot in the head.

Both were shot in the presence of their wives.

The Secretary of each President warned them not to go to the theater and to Dallas, respectively.





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Lincoln's Secretary was named Kennedy.

Kennedy's Secretary was named Lincoln.

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Both were assassinated by Southerners.

Both were succeeded by Southerners.

Both successors were named Johnson.

Andrew Johnson, who succeeded Lincoln, was born in 1808.

Lyndon Johnson, who succeeded Kennedy, was boun in 1908.

***

John Wilkes Booth, who assassinated Lincoln, was born in 1839.

Lee Harvey Oswald, who assassinated Kennedy, was born in 1939.

***



Both assassins were known by their three names.

Both names have 15 letters.

Booth ran from the theater and was captured in a warehouse.

Oswald ran from the warehouse and was captured in a theater.

***

And lastly, both Booth and Oswald were assassinated before their trials.

Review: Game Plan

After catching the first two episodes of Game Plan, the latest 9pm Channel 8 drama, I must say that I am pretty impressed with it. Game Plan, in many aspects, is much better than Poetic Justice, the show which preceded it. It is important to note that the drama was produced by Wawa Pictures.

As the title hints, the plot revolves around lies, cheats and deceits. It is also not difficult to anticipate that most of the characters are swindlers employing the most creative methods to make a living. And what if two highly-skilled swindlers run into each other? A battle of intelligence and shrewdness is about occur.

The cast is well assembled as it consists of actors like Christopher Lee, Zen Chong, Jacelyn Tay and Tong Bing Yu who possess a certain "sneakiness" in them. It's a pity that Shaun Chen, who looks the "most sly" among all the actors ended up with a police role.

Too bad I will not be able to watch it from episode five onwards for I will be flying to Australia in about sixty hours' time. So, if you are still in Singapore, do not miss this opportunity to enjoy one of the finer dramas Singapore has to boast this year.

Amy Cheong saga. A conspiracy?

I do not have any interest in NTUC except for their weekly offers which starts every Thursday. That includes the Amy Cheong saga that started a few days ago. However, as more media reports, netizens and even ministers joined in, I started to become slightly curious.

Call me a conspiracy theorist but I suspect that this entire fiasco is fictional. The main character, Amy Cheong, might exist but there are a number of points to attest that my suspicion did not come out of the blue. I am quite certain that I am not the only one who noticed them.

On that very day after Amy Cheong succeeded, courtesy of Facebook, a certain Cecilia to become the most talked about woman in Singapore, Straits Times published her picture on its front page. Previous cases which are similar to this don't appear on the first page.

The Straits Times, widely known to be a "very good" newspaper, published a Wall Street Journal titled "Why we are so rude online" on the very same day. It is indeed fascinating to know that the paper was so efficient at having a secondary article to warn people that the Amy case was a no-no.

An MP plus four ministers, including Lee Hsien Loong himself, have condemned the comments made by Amy Cheong. It is interesting to note that the MP, Janil Puthucheary, and two out of the other three ministers, Tharman Shanmugaratnam and K. Shanmugam, are all of minority race.

Lee Hsien Loong mentioned about the Wall Street Journal article again when he weighed in on the case. The article was actually brought up by him last week, before Amy turned into an overnight celebrity, in a Facebook post regarding online vitriol.

The man who was partially responsible for Amy's sacking is Lionel de Souza, an Hougang grassroots leader. He lodged a police report against her for her racist remarks. Lionel claimed that "such remarks should never be allowed as it's dangerous to play the race card in Singapore."

I am sure most of us remember Sun Xu, who earlier this year called Singaporeans "dogs" in an online post. The Sun Xu saga is certainly no smaller than Amy Cheong's so dear Lionel de Souza, where the heck were you then? Oh yeah, and where were you as well, Mr Lee?

Last but not least, why would NTUC fire a staff of high seniority in such a short span of time? Also, Amy managed to fly to Australia to take cover almost immediately after her photo appeared on the front pages.

The point here is that everything seems to be unfolding so quickly and swiftly that it makes one ponder if it was all staged. Is it a move by the government to make people obediently abide by the Internet rules? Or is it to show that the men in white are very efficient and decisive in such circumstances?

It is just my opinion so don't take my word for it, and please do not make a police report against me.

In a parallel universe

One day, beds might lie on humans and pillows will use us for human fights.

PRC complains about NSFs

A China man, known as Wu Chen, who is currently studying at NUS has complained about being disturbed after midnight by the loud singing of recruits who were participating in their graduating route march.

He questioned:

"They woke the neighbourhood up and caused a nuisance."

My reply to him:

"They only wake you up once (if not, four times a year as there are four intakes annually) but you fellow countrymen are always a nuisance in public areas.

"It took about a minute for the column to march past the area."

My reply is:

"Peace can only be restored when China people finally alight from the MRT or bus."

"This is totally uncalled for. Why is this even happening in the first place?"

And here's the reply:

"Why are China people so irritating in the first place?"

Wu Chen claimed that he could hear the singings from his house on the fifteenth floor a HDB block in Marsiling.

If you want tranquility then go buy a bungalow lah, complain so much for what?

Anyway, in case you are curious, this is the guy. Aiyah, whether you are curious or not, I bet you will still click the link.

http://environbiotechnology.com/people/wu-chen/

A billion Facebook friends

Facebook co-founder and chief executive Mark Zuckerberg recently announced that the social networking site has crossed the billion mark in terms of members. This translates to more than one-seventh of the world's population.

Zukerberg even boasted that "helping a billion people connect is amazing, humbling and by far the thing I am most proud of in my life." Even Eduardo Saverin, another co-founder who is currently living in Singapore, joined in the fun to congratulate.

In tribute to this so-called milestone, Facebook has even released a 90-second promotional video clip that serves to "prove" how it helped to connect people (virtually?) and allow users to share moments in their lives (aka posting pictures of their food, belongings, attire, location etc.)

While Facebook staff and maybe some of its die-hard users celebrate this news, the company's prirority should be to focus on improving its dismal performance in the stock market.

Unlike as a concept, Facebook has yet to achieve success as a business. There were other similar sites before Facebook started but none of them were able to create a phenomenon so strong that it changed the way people work, live and play.

As a concept? Yes. As a business? No. However, once in a while, we should take a step back and appreciate Facebook as an idea more than an enterprise. Only then will we be able to understand what Facebook really is.